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25 Comforting Phrases That Are Actually HURTFUL

Video vocabulary

strong

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US / strɒŋ /

UK / strɔŋ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • (Of tea or beer) dark or thick
  • Having big muscles; physically powerful

positive

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US / ˈpɒzətɪv /

UK / ˈpɑzɪtɪv /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Showing agreement or support for something
  • Being sure about something; knowing the truth
  • Having the charge produced by electrons
  • Being good or useful
  • Showing that a chemical is present in a test

unique

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US / jʊ'ni:k /

UK / juˈnik /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Unlike other things; being the only one like it

harm

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US / hɑ:m /

UK / hɑrm /

A2
  • noun
  • Damage or injury
  • verb
  • To damage, injure, or hurt someone or something

oversimplify

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US / ˌəʊvəˈsɪmplɪfaɪ /

UK / ˌoʊvərˈsɪmplɪfaɪ /

B1
  • verb
  • To describe but miss out important details

imply

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US / ɪmˈplaɪ /

UK / ɪmˈplaɪ /

A2
  • verb
  • To suggest something, without saying it directly

suffering

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US / ˈsʌfərɪŋ /

UK / ˈsʌfərɪŋ, ˈsʌfrɪŋ /

A2
  • noun
  • Experience of pain, illness or injury
  • verb
  • To experience pain, illness, or injury

struggle

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US / 'strʌɡl /

UK / ˈstrʌɡəl /

A2
  • noun
  • Strong efforts made to do something difficult
  • verb
  • To try very hard to do something difficult

just

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US / dʒʌst /

UK / dʒʌst /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Proper or appropriate; as is deserved
  • Doing or being what is right or fair
  • Legally correct; having enough evidence
  • adverb
  • Almost; nearly
  • Exactly at the time of
  • Exactly (the same as, like)

fully

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US / 'fʊlɪ /

UK / ˈfʊli /

A1
  • adverb
  • Completely or entirely

time

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US / taɪm /

UK / taɪm /

A1
  • noun
  • Speed at which music is played; tempo
  • Point as shown on a clock, e.g. 3 p.m
  • Number of hours, minutes needed to do something
  • Occasion when something happens
  • Period or occasion that something occurred
  • Period in history or the past
  • Something measured in minutes, hours, days, etc.
  • How long an event takes; duration
  • verb
  • To check speed at which music is performed
  • To choose a specific moment to do something
  • To measure how long an event takes, e.g. a race
  • To schedule something to occur at a specific moment

for

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US / fə(r) /

UK / fɔr,fə /

A1
  • preposition
  • Used to show the purpose, or need of something

those

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US / ðəʊz /

UK / ðoz /

A1
  • determiner
  • The people or things we are talking about
  • pronoun
  • The objects far from the speaker

invalidate

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US / ɪn'vælɪdeɪt /

UK / ɪnˈvælɪˌdet /

B2
  • verb
  • To show to not be officially correct or allowable

understanding

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US / ˌʌndəˈstændɪŋ /

UK / ˌʌndərˈstændɪŋ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being sympathetic
  • noun
  • When you get the meaning correctly; comprehension
  • Knowledge about something or someone
  • verb
  • To know the meaning of language, what someone says

comment

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US / 'kɒment /

UK / ˈkɑmɛnt /

A2
  • noun
  • Something you say, giving an opinion; remark
  • verb
  • To say something that gives your opinion

dismiss

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US / dɪsˈmɪs /

UK / dɪsˈmɪs /

A2
  • verb
  • To consider that something is at an end
  • To end someone's employment; fire someone
  • To not to think about something seriously

get

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US / ɡet /

UK / ɡɛt /

A1
  • verb
  • To become affected by illness or disease
  • To begin to feel or understand an emotion or idea
  • To send or bring someone or something home, etc.
  • To go somewhere to obtain something
  • To (cause to) do a particular thing
  • To obtain, receive or be given something
  • To currently have
  • To prepare for use
  • To understand something being said or read

first

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US / fɜ:st /

UK / fɚst /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • 1st; Coming before all others in time or place
  • noun
  • Something that has not happened before
  • Position of the winner of a competition

watch

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US / wɒtʃ /

UK / wɑtʃ /

A1
  • noun
  • Period of time someone is responsible for guarding
  • Device you wear on your wrist that shows the time
  • Official warning statement, e.g. of bad weather
  • verb
  • To keep in check, manage, or control something
  • To look at something for entertainment, e.g. TV
  • To guard a place or people; protect child, etc.
  • To look at carefully to work out what is happening
  • To protect and care for someone or something

offer

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US / 'ɒfə(r) /

UK / ˈɔfɚ, ˈɑfɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Price you say you are willing to pay for something
  • Act of making a thing available to be accepted
  • verb
  • To suggest a price you are willing to pay
  • To give the opportunity to accept something
  • To say you are willing to do something
  • To give or say something as an act of worship

great

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US / ɡreɪt /

UK / ɡret /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Very large in size
  • Very important
  • Very good; fantastic; wonderful
  • adverb
  • Very good; better than before
  • noun
  • Successful and well-admired person

stay

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US / steɪ /

UK / ste /

A1
  • noun
  • Legal order to stop or delay an action
  • Strong rope or wire that supports a ship's mast
  • Period of time spent living in or visiting a place
  • verb
  • To keep trying without giving up
  • To remain in the same place and not move away
  • To spend time visiting a place or someone's home

that

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US / ðæt /

UK / ðæt, ðət /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • The person or thing being talked about
  • Used to identify something both the speakers know
  • adverb
  • Used to reinforce adjectives and adverbs
  • To such a degree
  • conjunction
  • Used to connect a noun clause
  • Used to introduce an adverbial clause
  • Used to introduce a noun clause
  • determiner
  • Used as a noun to refer to something
  • pronoun
  • Referring an object far away
  • Used to refer to the relative pronoun ‘which’

eventually

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US / ɪˈventʃuəli /

UK / ɪˈvɛntʃuəli /

A2
  • adverb
  • After a long time; after many attempts; in the end

empathy

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US / ˈempəθi /

UK / ˈɛmpəθi /

B2
  • noun
  • Understanding how other people feel/suffer

current

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US / 'kʌrənt /

UK / ˈkɚrənt, ˈkʌr- /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Happening or being in the present time
  • noun
  • Electricity flowing through wires
  • Movement of water in a river, or air in the sky

happen

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US / 'hæpən /

UK / ˈhæpən /

A1
  • verb
  • To take place or occur

with

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US / wɪð /

UK / wɪð, wɪθ /

A1
  • preposition
  • As an employee of a certain company
  • Against something or someone
  • By using something as a means
  • Due to; because of
  • Including
  • Possessing as a feature
  • Related to
  • (Of the manner/attitude by which you do something)
  • Used to express that people or things are together

without

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US / wɪˈðaʊt /

UK / wɪðˈaʊt, wɪθ- /

A1
  • preposition
  • Not with; not having

have

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US / həv /

UK / hæv /

A1
  • verb
  • To drink, smoke, eat or use something
  • To experience the effects of something
  • To organize an event, or join in an activity
  • To own, possess, or hold something
  • To cause to happen or produce a particular effect

emotion

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US / iˈməuʃən /

UK / ɪˈmoʃən /

A2
  • noun
  • A feeling such as sadness, anger or love

know

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US / nəʊ /

UK / noʊ /

A1
  • verb
  • To be familiar with a person or place, thing
  • To feel sure or be convinced about something
  • To discover or be aware of something
  • To be able to distinguish
  • To have knowledge of things

quickly

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US / ˈkwɪkli /

UK / ˈkwɪklɪ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Without taking a lot of time; fast

end

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US / end /

UK / ɛnd /

A1
  • noun
  • The point where a process or activity stops
  • A point that marks the limit of something; finish
  • Goal or desired result
  • The tip, edge or limit of something
  • verb
  • To be the last part of something

their

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US / ðɛː /

UK / ðer /

A1
  • determiner
  • Belonging to them

move

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US / mu:v /

UK / muv /

A1
  • noun
  • Act of moving a playing piece in chess, etc.
  • An action; doing something
  • Step taken to achieve a goal
  • verb
  • To cause someone to have certain emotions
  • To cause something to change to a different place
  • To change where people live or a business operates
  • To take action to do or achieve something

worry

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US / ˈwʌri /

UK / ˈwɜ:ri /

A1
  • noun
  • Something that causes trouble or concern
  • verb
  • To cause concern or trouble over something

all

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US / ɔ:l /

UK / ɔl /

A1
  • adverb
  • Completely; totally
  • determiner
  • Being every one of something
  • pronoun
  • 100% of something; the complete amount

thank

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US / θæŋk /

UK / θæŋk /

A1
  • verb
  • To tell someone you are grateful to them

look

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US / lʊk /

UK / lʊk /

A1
  • noun
  • Person's beauty or physical attractiveness
  • Particular style of dress, clothes, or appearance
  • The way someone, something appears to be
  • Act of searching for or examining something
  • verb
  • To appear to be; seem

hold

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US / həʊld /

UK / hold /

A1
  • noun
  • Section of a ship or plane used for storing things
  • Influence or power held over someone
  • Place of support for hands or feet when climbing
  • verb
  • To agree to keep something for someone
  • To have the capacity to support/contain something
  • To control an area and protect it from attack
  • To not allow someone to leave a place
  • To cause an event to happen at a place or time
  • To use hands or arms to carry or keep something
  • To have a specific quality or property
  • To keep an image, belief or feeling in your mind
  • To have or own something
  • To wait before being able to talk on the phone
  • To limit the movement of someone in a sport

they

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US / ðeɪ /

UK / ðe /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Two or more people, animals, or things

everything

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US / 'evrɪθɪŋ /

UK / ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ /

A1
  • pronoun
  • All of the things mentioned

minimize

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US / 'mɪnɪmaɪz /

UK / ˈmɪnəˌmaɪz /

B1
  • verb
  • To make something seem small or less important

sure

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US / ʃʊə(r) /

UK / ʃʊr /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Having no doubts about something
  • Have confidence in your own words or actions
  • Firmly established or held; being firm or stable
  • Being correct or true
  • adverb
  • What you say to agree willingly

ever

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US / 'evə(r) /

UK / ˈɛvɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • At any time; at all times in the future

try

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US / traɪ /

UK / traɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • Act of putting the ball over the rugby goal line
  • verb
  • To make an effort, to attempt to do something
  • To examine someone or something in a court of law
  • To test to see if it is good or you like it
  • To make a person go through hardship; test
  • To examine something to see if it works

genuine

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US / ˈdʒenjuɪn /

UK / ˈdʒɛnjuɪn /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Being real, actual, and not false or artificial
  • Being sincere in your actions or character

reason

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US / 'ri:zn /

UK / ˈrizən /

A1
  • noun
  • Ability to think about facts and form a judgment
  • Explanation for why something occurred or was done
  • verb
  • To think and make conclusions in a logical manner

feel

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US / fi:l /

UK / fil /

A1
  • verb
  • To be aware of or experience an emotion, sensation
  • To sense through direct contact; touch

realize

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US / 'ri:əlaɪz /

UK / ˈriəˌlaɪz /

A1
  • verb
  • To become aware of or understand mentally

comfort

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US / 'kʌmfət /

UK / ˈkʌmfət /

A2
  • noun
  • Acts or words that reduce pain or sadness
  • State of being relaxed, warm or happy
  • verb
  • To try to make distressed person feel better

actually

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US / ˈæktʃuəli /

UK / ˈæktʃuəli /

A1
  • adverb
  • Used to add new (often different) information

will

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US / wɪl /

UK / wɪl /

A1
  • noun
  • Desire or choice of someone
  • Document saying who gets your money when you die
  • Strong desire to do something; determination
  • Desire to do something; strong wish to do
  • other
  • Used with verbs to express the future
  • verb
  • To leave property to someone after your death
  • To use mental effort to make something happen
  • Am (is, are) likely to do
  • To influence someone to do something
  • To make something happen by strongly wanting it

someone

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US / ˈsʌmwʌn /

UK / ˈsʌmˌwʌn, -wən /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Person who is not known or named

should

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US / ʃʊd /

UK / ʃʊd /

A1
  • other
  • Used to indicate what is proper or reasonable

massive

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US / ˈmæsɪv /

UK / ˈmæsɪv /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Very big; large; too big

wait

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US / weɪt /

UK / wet /

A1
  • verb
  • To delay or not do something until later
  • To spend time until an expected thing happens
  • To remain in a place until a thing happens

pain

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US / peɪn /

UK / pen /

A1
  • noun
  • Strong feeling of hurt or discomfort
  • Something or someone that bothers or upsets you
  • verb
  • To cause someone to feel upset or worry

and

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US / ənd /

UK / ənd, ən,ænd /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used to refer to two or more things
  • Plus; in addition; on top of that
  • Used to introduce an action that follows another

back

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US / bæk /

UK / bæk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Farthest from the front e.g. in a classroom
  • adverb
  • Have returned to a place you were before
  • noun
  • The part of a chair that the upper body leans upon
  • Location at the rear of something
  • The reverse of side something
  • Area on the rear of your body
  • verb
  • To bet money on something
  • To go backwards in a car
  • To support and encourage someone or some cause

over

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US / 'əʊvə(r) /

UK / ˈovɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Finished; no longer happening
  • Towards the ground/away from a standing position
  • noun
  • A set of six consecutive balls bowled in cricket
  • other
  • Finished
  • preposition
  • Showing the relation when a thing is above another
  • On or covering something
  • Above or across something
  • More than you need
  • From one side to the other
  • In the direction of; toward

out

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US / aʊt /

UK / aʊt /

A1
  • adverb
  • No longer stylish (e.g. fashion)
  • Away from home, business, or the usual place
  • In a direction/movement away from inside or center
  • noun
  • Act when a batter cannot continue playing
  • verb
  • To tell people a secret

our

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US / 'aʊə(r) /

UK / aʊr /

A1
  • determiner
  • Belonging to us

not

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US / nɒt /

UK / nɑt /

A1
  • adverb
  • Word indicating the negative
  • (Used to form the negative of verbs)

support

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US / səˈpɔ:t /

UK / səˈpɔrt, -ˈport /

A1
  • noun
  • Assistance or advice given to someone
  • Evidence that helps prove something is true
  • A thing to hold up or prevent from falling down
  • verb
  • To give assistance or advice to someone
  • To help prove or show that something is true
  • To hold up or prevent from falling down

justify

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US / ˈdʒʌstɪfaɪ /

UK / ˈdʒʌstəˌfaɪ /

B1
  • verb
  • To give good reasons for something

can

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US / kæn /

UK / kən,kæn /

A1
  • noun
  • A metal container for storing food
  • other
  • Able to; have the skill to; have the time to
  • verb
  • To have permission to
  • To be possible to do
  • To preserve food by sealing it in a metal container

understand

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US / ˌʌndə'stænd /

UK / ˌʌndɚˈstænd /

A1
  • verb
  • To know the meaning of language, what someone says

video

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US / 'vɪdɪəʊ /

UK / ˈvɪdiˌo /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Of a moving film, with sound
  • noun
  • Recording capturing action with sound
  • verb
  • To make a moving film of, with sound

feeling

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US / ˈfi:lɪŋ /

UK / ˈfilɪŋ /

A1
  • noun
  • Sensation or emotion you experience
  • verb
  • To be aware of or experience an emotion, sensation
  • To sense through direct contact; touch

address

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US / ə'dres /

UK / əˈdrɛs /

A1
  • noun
  • Exact street location of a place
  • A formal speech to a group of people
  • verb
  • To write the place someone lives on a letter
  • To refer to someone or something formally
  • To make a formal speech to a group of people
  • To try to find a solution to; think about

wound

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US / waʊnd /

UK / waʊnd /

A2
  • noun
  • Sadness or displeasure caused by a bad memory
  • Physical injury, especially that suffered in war
  • verb
  • To rotate a part of say a watch to make it work
  • To hurt someone emotionally
  • To injure someone in a fight with a knife gun etc.

phrase

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US / freɪz /

UK / frez /

A2
  • noun
  • Common expression or saying
  • Section of musical notes in a piece of music
  • A set of words used together
  • verb
  • To choose words to say what you mean clearly

good

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US / ɡʊd /

UK / ɡʊd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Proper, appropriate or right
  • (Of an amount) enough; plenty
  • Excellent; high quality
  • Acting well or properly; of moral character
  • In a positive or happy emotional state
  • noun
  • Advantage or benefit

you

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US / jʊ /

UK / ju /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Person someone is speaking or writing to
  • Person or people in general

simply

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US / ˈsɪmpli /

UK / ˈsɪmpli /

A1
  • adverb
  • In an easy or clear manner

how

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US / haʊ /

UK / haʊ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • To what degree? in what amount?
  • adverb
  • (Used to explain the way to do something)
  • exclamation
  • For what purpose or reason?
  • (Used to ask someone or something's condition)

fine

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US / faɪn /

UK / faɪn /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Good, acceptable or satisfactory
  • Of high quality; made with great skill
  • In a careful or exact manner; into small pieces
  • Being of high quality
  • Good; okay; no problem
  • (Of weather) good; not raining
  • noun
  • Money you have to pay because you broke a rule
  • verb
  • To pay money because you broke a law

word

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US / wɜ:d /

UK / wɚd /

A1
  • noun
  • Unit of language that has a meaning
  • Promise
  • Short remark or piece of information
  • verb
  • To express something by choosing particular words

this

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US / ðɪs /

UK / ðɪs /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Used to indicate something already been discussed
  • Used to indicate something happening around now
  • adverb
  • An indication by a physical motion or gesture
  • A specific amount of
  • determiner
  • Person, thing, or idea near you
  • pronoun
  • Person, thing that has already been discussed

the

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US / ðə /

UK / ðə /

A1
  • article
  • Used to refer to something already mentioned
  • Used to show there is only one of something
  • determiner
  • Used to describe all of a family

essential

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US / ɪ'senʃl /

UK / ɪˈsɛnʃəl /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Extremely or most important and necessary

than

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US / ðən /

UK / ðən /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used to compare two things that are not equal

power

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US / 'paʊə(r) /

UK / ˈpaʊɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Legal or official right to perform certain actions
  • Ability to move forcefully and quickly
  • Energy of something (e.g. electricity or fuel)
  • Mathematical way to multiply a number
  • Condition of being in political control
  • Physical force, energy, and strength
  • verb
  • To give energy to something, e.g. by electricity
  • To move something forcefully and quickly

complexity

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US / kəm'pleksətɪ /

UK / kəmˈplɛksɪti /

B1
  • noun
  • State of having many parts and not being simple

fade

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US / feɪd /

UK / fed /

A2
  • verb
  • To cause to lose brightness of color
  • To lose strength or freshness

heal

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US / hi:l /

UK / hi:l /

B1
  • verb
  • To recover from or forget a bad experience
  • To make or become healthy or well again

suggest

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US / səˈdʒest /

UK / səɡˈdʒɛst, səˈdʒɛst /

A1
  • verb
  • To mention something that could be done; propose
  • Subtitles section
  • Our words hold great power and it's essential to offer genuine empathy and understanding to those in need.
  • Have you ever tried to comfort someone with these phrases and actually realized they're doing more harm than good?
  • Thanks to your massive support and comments on our first video, we're back with more phrases you should look out for and be sure to watch this video to the end.
  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • This phrase can dismiss someone's pain by implying their suffering is justified.
  • You'll get over it eventually.
  • This minimizes the person's current feelings and suggests they should quickly move on.
  • Don't worry, I know how you feel.
  • Invalidate their unique emotions by assuming you fully understand.
  • Just stay positive.
  • Oversimplifies their struggle and disregards the complexity of their emotions.
  • Time heals all wounds.
  • Implies that they should simply wait for their pain to fade without addressing it.
  • You're so strong, you'll be fine.
  • Puts pressure on them to hide their vulnerability and suffering.
  • It could be worse.
  • Invalidates their pain by comparing it to other experiences.
  • I know exactly how you should handle this.
  • Assumes a one-size-fits-all solution without understanding their situation.
  • Just think happy thoughts.
  • Ignores the depth of their feelings and the complexity of their situation.
  • You're overreacting.
  • Dismisses their emotions and makes them feel guilty for feeling the way they do.
  • At least you're not alone in this.
  • Minimizes their pain by pointing out that others are suffering too.
  • You should be grateful for what you have.
  • Invalidates their negative feelings by implying they shouldn't feel bad.
  • Just let it go.
  • Oversimplifies their struggle and ignores the process of healing.
  • I told you so.
  • Blames them for their situation and makes them feel judged.
  • You're too sensitive.
  • Invalidates their emotions and makes them feel wrong for feeling deeply.
  • You'll understand when you're older.
  • Dismisses their feelings and suggests they're too immature to comprehend.
  • Don't be so negative.
  • Invalidates their emotions and implies they should suppress their true feelings.
  • You're being too emotional.
  • Diminishes their feelings by implying they're irrational.
  • Why can't you just move on?
  • Minimizes their pain by suggesting they should just easily move past it.
  • Things will get better soon.
  • Dismisses their current feelings and offers a vague promise of improvement.
  • It's not that big of a deal.
  • Minimizes their feelings and implies their pain is insignificant.
  • Just be thankful it's not worse.
  • Invalidates their pain by comparing it to potentially worse scenarios.
  • Stop dwelling on it.
  • Disregards the importance of protesting and healing from the emotions.
  • You need to toughen up.
  • Implies that their emotional sensitivity is a weakness.
  • You're making a mountain out of a molehill.
  • Minimizes their feelings by suggesting they're exaggerating their emotions.
  • Remember, our intention is key but so is our approach.
  • Let's continue to learn and grow together.
  • Building stronger connections through empathy and understanding.
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  • Until next time, take care and be kind to one another.