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Dad Jokes | Don't Laugh Challenge | Abby vs Matt | Raise Your Spirits

Video vocabulary

hundred

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US / 'hʌndrəd /

UK / ˈhʌndrɪd /

A1
  • number
  • 100

bite

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US / baɪt /

UK / baɪt /

A2
  • noun
  • Amount of food taken into your mouth at one time
  • Wound left from being bitten
  • verb
  • (E.g. of fish) to take bait and be caught
  • To close your teeth onto something, usually to eat

disappointment

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US / ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt /

UK / ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt /

B2
  • noun
  • Feeling or state of not being satisfied

have

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US / həv /

UK / hæv /

A1
  • verb
  • To drink, smoke, eat or use something
  • To experience the effects of something
  • To organize an event, or join in an activity
  • To own, possess, or hold something
  • To cause to happen or produce a particular effect

hand

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US / hænd /

UK / hænd /

A1
  • noun
  • Cards given to a player in a card game
  • Piece of a clock that points to the time
  • Someone who performs physical tasks or work
  • Body part at the end of a person's arm
  • Help for someone performing a particular action
  • Condition of having power or influence
  • Member of the crew of a ship
  • verb
  • To give something to someone personally

tea

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US / ti: /

UK / ti /

A1
  • noun
  • A full meal eaten around 5-7 p.m (in the UK)
  • Drink made when you put dried leaves in hot water
  • Snack with a hot drink and cake, in the afternoon

vampire

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US / ˈvæmpaɪə(r) /

UK / ˈvæmˌpaɪr /

B2
  • noun
  • Bloodsucking dead person who bites neck of victim

count

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US / kaʊnt /

UK / kaʊnt /

A2
  • noun
  • Number of things added together, e.g. votes
  • With the number of crimes, knockouts, as stated
  • verb
  • To add things together to find the total number
  • To matter or be important
  • To include someone or something in a final number

janitor

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US / ˈdʒænɪtə(r) /

UK / ˈdʒænɪtɚ /

C2
  • noun
  • a person employed to take care of a large building, such as a school, and who deals with the cleanin

his

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US / hɪz /

UK / hɪz /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Something belonging to a male person

sad

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US / sæd /

UK / sæd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Unhappy; wishing something hadn't happened

with

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US / wɪð /

UK / wɪð, wɪθ /

A1
  • preposition
  • As an employee of a certain company
  • Against something or someone
  • By using something as a means
  • Due to; because of
  • Including
  • Possessing as a feature
  • Related to
  • (Of the manner/attitude by which you do something)
  • Used to express that people or things are together

break

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US / breɪk /

UK / brek /

A1
  • noun
  • Time you stop an activity before continuing
  • End of a relationship
  • An escape from a place such as a jail
  • (Lucky) advantage or benefit from something
  • Find a solution or answer to a problem or crime
  • Change in the weather
  • verb
  • To create a new record e.g. running the 100m dash
  • To form a crack in something
  • To burst or become damaged
  • To end a relationship
  • To escape from a place such as a jail
  • To train a wild animal e.g. a horse
  • To separate into pieces by force, or by dropping
  • To act against a law, rule, or promise
  • To become known suddenly, as in the news
  • To not do what you promised e.g. not keep promises
  • To solve a crime, or answer a problem
  • To stop functioning properly
  • To suddenly start, open or commence
  • To change in pitch suddenly, as in a voice
  • To fall on the shore, as in waves
  • To begin or change suddenly; the dawn or weather
  • To defeat by causing the person to lose their will

full

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US / fʊl /

UK / fʊl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Containing all the parts; complete
  • Containing or holding as much as possible
  • Having had enough food
  • adverb
  • In a direct manner; completely

chill

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US / tʃɪl /

UK / tʃɪl /

B1
  • noun
  • State of being a little cold
  • Feeling of fear or being frightened
  • Slight cold or illness that makes you shake
  • verb
  • To make something cold, e.g. a drink
  • To become less tense about something

meat

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US / mi:t /

UK / mit /

A2
  • noun
  • Flesh of a dead animal that you eat
  • Something that is important or significant

see

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US / si: /

UK / si /

A1
  • verb
  • To go on a date with someone
  • To predict whether something is, or will be true
  • To understand what someone says
  • To use your eyes to look at something
  • To visit a place often for sightseeing or pleasure
  • To visit or meet with someone
  • To find out by waiting or looking
  • To watch (a game, movie or TV show)

smoke

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US / sməʊk /

UK / smoʊk /

B1
  • noun
  • Grey gas from fires and cigarettes
  • Fog of air coming from e.g. a cigarette, fire
  • verb
  • To give off a cloud of grey gas from burning
  • To add a taste to food by putting it near a fire
  • To breathe in through a cigarette, etc.

rely

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US / rɪ'laɪ /

UK / rɪˈlaɪ /

B2
  • verb
  • Depend on with full trust or confidence

fuck

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US / fʌk /

UK / fʌk /

A1
  • noun
  • Vulgar term used as an intensifier
  • verb
  • (Vulgar) To have sex with someone

know

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US / nəʊ /

UK / noʊ /

A1
  • verb
  • To be familiar with a person or place, thing
  • To feel sure or be convinced about something
  • To discover or be aware of something
  • To be able to distinguish
  • To have knowledge of things

wear

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US / weə(r) /

UK / wer /

A1
  • noun
  • Clothing designed for a purpose e.g. skiing
  • Damage from continual use over a long period
  • verb
  • To have clothes, glasses, shoes etc. on your body
  • To display an expression or emotion on the face
  • To become weaker or damaged from continued use

anyway

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US / ˈeniweɪ /

UK / ˈɛniˌwe /

A1
  • adverb
  • A word used to change the topic of a conversation

joke

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US / dʒəʊk /

UK / dʒoʊk /

A1
  • noun
  • A funny or amusing statement
  • Something or someone not taken seriously
  • verb
  • To say or do things that are meant to be funny

never

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US / 'nevə(r) /

UK / ˈnɛvɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Not ever; not at any time

ask

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US / ɑ:sk /

UK / æsk /

A1
  • verb
  • To say to someone that you want something

within

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US / wɪˈðɪn /

UK / wɪðˈɪn, wɪθ- /

A1
  • adverb
  • Inside the limits of an area, time or range
  • preposition
  • From the inside of something

well

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US / wel /

UK / wɛl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being in a fortunate, good condition or state
  • Healthy and in good condition
  • adverb
  • In an acceptable, proper, or successful manner
  • In a complete, total, or full manner
  • A great and considerable degree
  • In a successful way, in a good or satisfactory way
  • exclamation
  • Used to begin or continue a particular statement
  • Used to show you want to start saying something
  • Used to express that you are waiting for a reply
  • You say this to change the topic of a conversation
  • Used to indicate you are making a final remark
  • noun
  • Long deep hole in the ground to get water
  • verb
  • To cause your eyes to fill with tears

hello

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US / hə'ləʊ /

UK / hɛˈlo, hə- /

A1
  • exclamation
  • What you say when you meet someone

for

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US / fə(r) /

UK / fɔr,fə /

A1
  • preposition
  • Used to show the purpose, or need of something

time

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US / taɪm /

UK / taɪm /

A1
  • noun
  • Speed at which music is played; tempo
  • Point as shown on a clock, e.g. 3 p.m
  • Number of hours, minutes needed to do something
  • Occasion when something happens
  • Period or occasion that something occurred
  • Period in history or the past
  • Something measured in minutes, hours, days, etc.
  • How long an event takes; duration
  • verb
  • To check speed at which music is performed
  • To choose a specific moment to do something
  • To measure how long an event takes, e.g. a race
  • To schedule something to occur at a specific moment

why

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US / waɪ /

UK / hwaɪ, waɪ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Question word to ask for a reason
  • exclamation
  • (Used to express surprise or approval)

website

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US / ˈwebsaɪt /

UK / 'websaɪt /

A1
  • noun
  • Collection of webpages in one location

face

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US / feɪs /

UK / fes /

A1
  • noun
  • Side or outer surface of something
  • An expression using mouth, nose, eyes etc.
  • Front part of the head where eyes, mouth etc. are
  • Characteristics you show in public
  • verb
  • To cover a surface with something like paint
  • To deal with a problem or responsibilities
  • To look toward; point in a certain direction

generation

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US / ˌdʒenəˈreɪʃn /

UK / ˌdʒɛnəˈreʃən /

A2
  • noun
  • Act or process of producing or causing something
  • People born and living at about the same time

myself

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US / maɪˈself /

UK / maɪˈsɛlf /

A1
  • pronoun
  • The same person who did the action mentioned
  • My regular, usual, or healthy self

shove

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US / ʃʌv /

UK / ʃʌv /

B2
  • noun
  • Rough push on something or someone
  • verb
  • To roughly push someone or something away

buddy

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US / 'bʌdɪ /

UK / ˈbʌdi /

B2
  • noun
  • Friend, usually male

jackson

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US / 'dʒæksən /

UK / 'dʒæksən /

A1
  • proper noun
  • An industrial city in south central Michigan; population 33,518 (est. 2008).
  • The capital of Mississippi, an industrial and commercial city in the central part of the state, on t
  • A commercial city in western Tennessee; population 63,158 (est. 2008).

laugh

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US / lɑ:f /

UK / læf, lɑf /

A1
  • noun
  • Happy noise you make when something is funny
  • verb
  • To make a happy sound when something is funny

metre

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US / 'mi:tə(r) /

UK / ˈmitɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Unit of length equal to 100 cm or about 39 inches

much

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US / mʌtʃ /

UK / mʌtʃ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Very; to a high level or degree
  • adverb
  • A lot; large amount; a high degree of
  • Nearly; basically
  • On many occasions; often
  • noun
  • A large amount; a great quantity

grandfather

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US / 'ɡrænfɑ:ðə(r) /

UK / ˈɡrændˌfɑðɚ, ˈɡræn- /

B2
  • noun
  • Your mother's or father's father

job

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US / dʒɒb /

UK / dʒɑ:b /

A1
  • noun
  • Something that must be done
  • Regular work at which you earn money

mama

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US / 'mæmə /

UK / ˈmɑmə /

B2
  • noun
  • A mother

soon

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US / su:n /

UK / sun /

A1
  • adverb
  • At a time not long from now

sorry

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US / ˈsɒri /

UK / ˈsɑ:ri /

A1
  • exclamation
  • What you say to admit you were wrong
  • adjecitve
  • Causing others to feel pity; poor
  • Feeling regret or sympathy about wrong thing

sound

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US / saʊnd /

UK / saʊnd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Sensible, dependable and reliable
  • Unbroken or undisturbed, as of sleep
  • Firm or solid in structure
  • Sane; not mentally ill
  • Clearly reasoned; involving sense, good judgment
  • noun
  • Unique quality that characterizes a style of music
  • Waves traveling in air or water that can be heard
  • verb
  • To seem or appear to be, from what was said
  • To say in a clear deliberate manner
  • To make a noise, e.g. to ring a bell

friction

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US / ˈfrɪkʃn /

UK / ˈfrɪkʃən /

B2
  • noun
  • Disagreement between two or more people
  • Force preventing motion between bodies in contact

jury

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US / ˈdʒʊəri /

UK / ˈdʒʊri /

B1
  • noun
  • 12 citizens who decide if someone is guilty or not

shoot

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US / ʃu:t /

UK / ʃut /

A2
  • noun
  • Emerging new part of a plant
  • verb
  • To kick or throw a ball at a goal
  • To fire a gun; injure or kill someone with a gun
  • To (cause to) fly away forcefully
  • To use a camera to record a film/take a photograph

card

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US / kɑ:d /

UK / kɑ:rd /

A1
  • noun
  • One of 54 pieces of paper used in a game of cards
  • Small piece of paper or plastic used as ID
  • verb
  • (Golf) to record how many hits you took

home

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US / həʊm /

UK / hom /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • A sports team's own field or place of play
  • adverb
  • Into the correct or intended position
  • noun
  • House, apartment or building to be rented or sold
  • Institution for sick or elderly people
  • Place where a person or a family lives
  • Country where a person lives or was born
  • Region that is native to peoples, plant or animals
  • verb
  • To move towards a particular target location

just

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US / dʒʌst /

UK / dʒʌst /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Proper or appropriate; as is deserved
  • Doing or being what is right or fair
  • Legally correct; having enough evidence
  • adverb
  • Almost; nearly
  • Exactly at the time of
  • Exactly (the same as, like)

talk

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US / tɔ:k /

UK / tɔk /

A1
  • noun
  • Style of speaking
  • Discussion between two countries
  • Giving information in front of people; lecture
  • Saying things or ideas to someone with words
  • verb
  • To make a formal speech about something
  • To say things or ideas to someone with words

technology

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US / tek'nɒlədʒɪ /

UK / tɛkˈnɑlədʒi /

A2
  • noun
  • Use or knowledge of science in industry etc.

rub

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US / rʌb /

UK / rʌb /

B1
  • noun
  • Act of moving you hand forcefully along a surface
  • verb
  • To spread a cream, etc., using a repeated motion
  • To move something back and forth along a surface

bitch

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US / bɪtʃ /

UK / bɪtʃ /

B2
  • noun
  • Female dog
  • Offensive term for a female
  • verb
  • To aggressively complain about something

bad

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US / bæd /

UK / bæd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Not good; wrong
  • Lacking in good morals; evil
  • No longer fresh; spoiled

rollercoaster

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US / ˈrəʊləˌkəʊstə /

UK / ˈroʊlərˌkoʊstər /

C2
  • noun
  • Amusement passenger ride that rises and falls

welcome

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US / 'welkəm /

UK / ˈwɛlkəm /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being what was wanted or needed
  • noun
  • Friendly greeting to someone who has arrived
  • verb
  • To greet someone who has just arrived
  • To accept or receive something happily and gladly

play

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US / pleɪ /

UK / pleɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • Loose, free movement between two objects
  • Single action in a sports game
  • Performance in which people act in a theater
  • verb
  • To act as a character in a movie, or on stage
  • To perform music on an instrument
  • To use a device, e.g. a video game
  • To do something for enjoyment and fun
  • To do or perform a game or sport

school

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US / sku:l /

UK / skul /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being to do with schools and education
  • noun
  • Large group of fish that swim together
  • Education of a child
  • Building where you learn in classes with a teacher
  • A particular belief or idea about something
  • verb
  • To teach or train someone to know or do something

this

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US / ðɪs /

UK / ðɪs /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Used to indicate something already been discussed
  • Used to indicate something happening around now
  • adverb
  • An indication by a physical motion or gesture
  • A specific amount of
  • determiner
  • Person, thing, or idea near you
  • pronoun
  • Person, thing that has already been discussed

marathon

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US / 'mærəθən /

UK / 'mærəθɑ:n /

B2
  • adjecitve
  • Lasting for a long time
  • noun
  • Running race that is run over a distance of 42km

maintenance

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US / 'meɪntənəns /

UK / ˈmentənəns /

A2
  • noun
  • Keeping (a machine) working by checking and fixing

make

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US / meɪk /

UK / mek /

A1
  • noun
  • Product made by a particular company; brand
  • verb
  • To arrange or prepare something e.g. dinner
  • To get to (a place) on time
  • To gain the status of (teacher, lawyer, etc.)
  • To create something by putting things together
  • To earn a certain amount of money at a job
  • To cause or force a person to do something
  • To cause something to happen or be formed

run

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US / rʌn /

UK / rʌn /

A1
  • noun
  • Journey between two places made by ship or car
  • Series of similar things or successes and failures
  • Act of running; exercise of running
  • verb
  • To depart or travel according to a schedule
  • To cause an animal to move in a certain direction
  • (Of an engine) to be operating
  • To start or use a computer program
  • To flow in a certain direction, like a liquid
  • To manage or operate a business
  • To operate or drive something
  • (Of a road) to go from one place to another
  • To move your legs faster than walking

also

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US / 'ɔ:lsəʊ /

UK / ˈɔlso /

A1
  • adverb
  • In addition; too; in a similar way

female

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US / 'fi:meɪl /

UK / ˈfiˌmel /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Person of the sex that gives birth to babies

fine

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US / faɪn /

UK / faɪn /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Good, acceptable or satisfactory
  • Of high quality; made with great skill
  • In a careful or exact manner; into small pieces
  • Being of high quality
  • Good; okay; no problem
  • (Of weather) good; not raining
  • noun
  • Money you have to pay because you broke a rule
  • verb
  • To pay money because you broke a law

five

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US / faɪv /

UK / faɪv /

A1
  • number
  • 5

how

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US / haʊ /

UK / haʊ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • To what degree? in what amount?
  • adverb
  • (Used to explain the way to do something)
  • exclamation
  • For what purpose or reason?
  • (Used to ask someone or something's condition)

woman

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US / ˈwʊmən /

UK / ˈwʊmən /

A1
  • noun
  • Adult female human being

you

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US / jʊ /

UK / ju /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Person someone is speaking or writing to
  • Person or people in general

little

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US / 'lɪtl /

UK / ˈlɪtl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being short in length of time
  • Not great in size, amount, or degree; small
  • Being very young or younger than others
  • adverb
  • By an amount or degree that is not very much
  • Not often; rarely
  • noun
  • A person's name

let

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US / let /

UK / lɛt /

A1
  • verb
  • To allow someone to do something
  • Introducing a suggestion to do something together
  • To rent a house, etc. to others

necromancer

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US / ˈnekrəʊmænsə(r) /

UK / ˈnekroʊmænsər /

A1
  • noun
  • Person who practices divination by conjuring up the dead

orphan

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US / ˈɔ:fn /

UK / ˈɔ:rfn /

B2
  • noun
  • Child whose parents have died

person

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US / 'pɜ:sn /

UK / 'pɜ:rsn /

A1
  • noun
  • Man, woman or child

the

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US / ðə /

UK / ðə /

A1
  • article
  • Used to refer to something already mentioned
  • Used to show there is only one of something
  • determiner
  • Used to describe all of a family

wow

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US / waʊ /

UK / waʊ /

A1
  • exclamation
  • Sound people make when they make are impressed
  • verb
  • (Informal) to greatly impress someone

funny

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US / ˈfʌni /

UK / ˈfʌni /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Causing laughter; amusing
  • Being different, odd or strange

half

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US / hɑ:f /

UK / hæf, hɑf /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Not complete
  • adverb
  • Partly; somewhat
  • noun
  • One of two equal periods of game time in a sport
  • The part you get when one is divided into two;

man

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US / mæn /

UK / mæn /

A1
  • noun
  • Humans in general, including male and female
  • An adult male human being
  • Male who acts in a masculine way; not like a woman
  • verb
  • To control or operate (a machine); be in charge of
  • To operate a machine (a boat, etc.)

surprised

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US / səˈpraɪzd /

UK / sərˈpraɪzd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Feeling a shock when something unexpected happens
  • verb
  • To do something that another person didn't expect

fair

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US / feə(r) /

UK / fɛr /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Neither very good nor very bad; average
  • (Of skin) light colored; not dark
  • Quite good; quite a lot
  • Treating all people the same way
  • (Of hair) light colored; blonde
  • (Of weather) sunny; not raining
  • noun
  • Event for companies to show their products
  • Event to sell things to help a charity

into

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US / 'ɪntə /

UK / ˈɪntu /

A1
  • preposition
  • Moving or going inside something
  • In the same direction as; in the direction of
  • So as to become; taking the state of

love

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US / lʌv /

UK / lʌv /

A1
  • noun
  • Person's name
  • A very strong feeling of affection
  • The person you care very deeply about
  • Strong, deep emotional and sexual attraction
  • verb
  • To care for and like someone very strongly, deeply
  • To like doing very much; enjoy greatly
  • To feel a strong emotional and romantic attraction

lucky

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US / 'lʌkɪ /

UK / ˈlʌki /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Fortunate; having good things happen by chance

other

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US / 'ʌðə(r) /

UK / ˈʌðər /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • A thing different from that mentioned
  • determiner
  • (Something) else; not the first (one)
  • pronoun
  • Being the one and only thing of that category

dracula

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US / ˈdrækjələ /

UK / ˈdrækjələ /

A1
  • other
  • Comprises tropical American species usually placed in genus Masdevallia: diminutive plants having bi
  • Fictional vampire in a gothic horror novel by Bram Stoker

one

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US / wʌn /

UK / wʌn /

A1
  • pronoun
  • You; we; people in general; someone
  • The thing or person previously referred to
  • adjecitve
  • Used to refer to people generally
  • Being a strong example of (something mentioned)
  • number
  • Number 1

turn

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US / tɜ:n /

UK / tɚn /

A1
  • noun
  • Place where changing of direction happens
  • Your time or chance to perform a duty
  • Your chance to play or do in say a game
  • Unexpected change, as in the weather
  • verb
  • To become (a particular age)
  • To become a different quality, color, etc.
  • To change the direction of something, e.g. a car
  • To move in an opposite direction or position
  • To shape metal with a spinning tool

mean

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US / mi:n /

UK / min /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being good at
  • Nasty; unkind
  • Not liking to spend money; cheap; stingy
  • noun
  • Average of a set of numbers
  • verb
  • To express a particular idea or thought
  • To intend to do something in particular
  • To have a particular meaning or value

ticket

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US / 'tɪkɪt /

UK / ˈtɪkɪt /

A1
  • noun
  • Piece of paper allowing you enter or use something
  • Official paper showing something illegal was done
  • Printed paper showing a price, size or information
  • verb
  • To sell tickets for an event, journey or activity
  • To give paper to show someone had acted illegally

watch

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US / wɒtʃ /

UK / wɑtʃ /

A1
  • noun
  • Period of time someone is responsible for guarding
  • Device you wear on your wrist that shows the time
  • Official warning statement, e.g. of bad weather
  • verb
  • To keep in check, manage, or control something
  • To look at something for entertainment, e.g. TV
  • To guard a place or people; protect child, etc.
  • To look at carefully to work out what is happening
  • To protect and care for someone or something

fire

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US / 'faɪə(r) /

UK / faɪr /

A1
  • noun
  • Heat and the flame produced when burning
  • Intense energy for or about something
  • verb
  • To apply heat to something to make it hard
  • To make a person leave their job; dismiss
  • To shoot a gun or weapon
  • To launch something into the sky, e.g. a rocket
  • To start working on something e.g. a project

then

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US / ðen /

UK / ðɛn /

A1
  • adverb
  • A time that is not now
  • Following another thing in time or arrangement
  • Following on reasonably from what was just stated
  • At that time, not now

about

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US / ə'baʊt /

UK / əˈbaʊt /

A1
  • adverb
  • To be ready to; going to
  • Nearly; approximately; roughly
  • Near; next to; close to
  • In every direction; in the area of
  • preposition
  • Concerning or of (a topic)

again

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US / ə'ɡen /

UK / əˈɡɛn /

A1
  • adverb
  • One more time, once more

eye

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US / aɪ /

UK / aɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • The part of the body that you see with
  • The skill to see the good and bad parts of a thing
  • Hole at the end of a needle
  • verb
  • To watch or study something closely

like

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US / laɪk /

UK / laɪk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being equal in status or kind to something else
  • Similar; the same
  • adverb
  • For example
  • preposition
  • Used as a filler; used to ad emphasis
  • In a way similar to the way something is done
  • Such as; for example
  • verb
  • To want to
  • To find something pleasing; to prefer something

people

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US / 'pi:pl /

UK / ˈpipəl /

A1
  • noun
  • Persons sharing culture, country, background, etc.
  • Men, Women, Children

mom

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US / mɒm /

UK / mɑ:m /

A1
  • noun
  • A slang term for mother

what

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US / wɒt /

UK / hwɑt, hwʌt, wɔt, wʌt,hwət, wət /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Thing or things that; the same kind as
  • Used to emphasize something you are about to say
  • adjecitve
  • Used to refer to a particular amount, or number
  • Used to place emphasis on a particular quality
  • adverb
  • To a certain degree
  • determiner
  • Question words used for asking for information
  • exclamation
  • Used to express excitement, shock, or surprise
  • Used to ask people to repeat something they said

that

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US / ðæt /

UK / ðæt, ðət /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • The person or thing being talked about
  • Used to identify something both the speakers know
  • adverb
  • Used to reinforce adjectives and adverbs
  • To such a degree
  • conjunction
  • Used to connect a noun clause
  • Used to introduce an adverbial clause
  • Used to introduce a noun clause
  • determiner
  • Used as a noun to refer to something
  • pronoun
  • Referring an object far away
  • Used to refer to the relative pronoun ‘which’

bottom

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US / 'bɒtəm /

UK / ˈbɑtəm /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning the part under something, e.g. a vase
  • noun
  • The part of your body you sit on
  • Lowest position, often in a company or contest
  • Lowest part of something; part on which it rests
  • Lowest level, part or point of an object
  • The part under something, e.g. a vase
  • verb
  • To hit the lowest part of something

hilarious

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US / hɪˈleəriəs /

UK / hɪˈlɛriəs, -ˈlær-, haɪ- /

B2
  • adjecitve
  • Extremely amusing; very funny

guilty

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US / 'ɡɪltɪ /

UK / ˈɡɪlti /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Responsible for doing something wrong

yeah

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US / jeə /

UK / ˈjɛə, ˈjæə, jɛ- /

A1
  • exclamation
  • Another way of saying 'yes'

cheer

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US / tʃiə /

UK / tʃɪr /

A2
  • noun
  • Feeling of happiness or optimism
  • A loud shout of encouragement or approval
  • A toast used when raising your glass to drink
  • verb
  • To give a loud shout of encouragement to someone
  • To make someone feel happier or less worried

own

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US / əʊn /

UK / on /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Belong to oneself
  • determiner
  • Yours, his, hers, etc.; not belonging to another
  • pronoun
  • (Something) belong to myself
  • verb
  • To have something as your property

dead

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US / ded /

UK / dɛd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Not alive
  • Being bored or not interested
  • Unable to operate because electricity etc. ran out
  • Being unable to feel, physically or emotionally
  • adverb
  • Completely; absolutely

first

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US / fɜ:st /

UK / fɚst /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • 1st; Coming before all others in time or place
  • noun
  • Something that has not happened before
  • Position of the winner of a competition

get

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US / ɡet /

UK / ɡɛt /

A1
  • verb
  • To become affected by illness or disease
  • To begin to feel or understand an emotion or idea
  • To send or bring someone or something home, etc.
  • To go somewhere to obtain something
  • To (cause to) do a particular thing
  • To obtain, receive or be given something
  • To currently have
  • To prepare for use
  • To understand something being said or read

catch

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US / kætʃ /

UK / kætʃ, kɛtʃ /

A1
  • noun
  • Amount of something that has been caught
  • Trick or something trying to deceive
  • verb
  • To stop something flying and hold it
  • To stop something and not let it go, e.g. animals
  • To get sick or get a disease from someone else
  • To find someone to do something, a task
  • To get stuck on or in something
  • To be trapped so you can’t escape
  • To be able to understand what someone is saying

grab

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US / ɡræb /

UK / ɡræb /

A2
  • verb
  • To take and hold something quickly

michael

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US / ˈmaɪk(ə)l /

UK / ˈmaɪkəl /

A1

tell

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US / tel /

UK / tɛl /

A1
  • verb
  • To (strongly) advise a person to do something
  • To be able to guess
  • To say or communicate information to someone
  • To inform, but without speaking; indicate
  • To have a negative effect on someone
  • To order someone to do something; command
  • To recognize something based on certain signs
  • To report something to an authority
  • To explain something or teach someone something

naked

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US / ˈneɪkɪd /

UK / ˈnekɪd /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Not wearing any clothes; without covering

right

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US / raɪt /

UK / raɪt /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Correct or true
  • The south side of you looking at the rising sun
  • adverb
  • Exactly in a place or time
  • Being appropriate for a particular event
  • In a straight or direct manner
  • noun
  • Something you are legally or morally allowed to do
  • Ideal of what is just and good
  • Political view based on conservatism
  • verb
  • To fix something previously wrong or unjust
  • To make upright, as a boat that has turned over

she

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US / ʃɪ /

UK / ʃi /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Female person or animal mentioned before
  • (Refers to female person mentioned before)

dad

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US / dæd /

UK / dæd /

A1
  • noun
  • Another word for father

finally

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US / ˈfaɪnəli /

UK / ˈfaɪnəli /

A1
  • adverb
  • used especially at the beginning of a sentence to introduce the last point or idea
  • After a long time or some difficulty

something

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US / ˈsʌmθɪŋ /

UK / ˈsʌmθɪŋ /

A1
  • adverb
  • In some degree or measure
  • noun
  • a person or thing of some value or consequence
  • pronoun
  • Thing that is not yet known or named
  • Approximately

afternoon

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US / ˌɑ:ftəˈnu:n /

UK / ˌæftərˈnu:n /

A1
  • noun
  • Time after 12:00 and before the evening meal

drunk

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US / drʌŋk /

UK / drʌŋk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Not behaving normally because of drinking alcohol
  • noun
  • A person who drinks too much alcohol
  • verb
  • To put liquid in your body through your mouth

guide

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US / ɡaɪd /

UK / ɡaɪd /

A2
  • noun
  • Book or a magazine containing information/advice
  • Person leading others visiting an unknown place
  • verb
  • To help or advise someone about something
  • To control missile to hit a target by radio signal
  • To lead people visiting a new or unknown place

anything

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US / ˈeniθɪŋ /

UK / ˈɛniˌθɪŋ /

A1
  • pronoun
  • A thing of any kind

out

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US / aʊt /

UK / aʊt /

A1
  • adverb
  • No longer stylish (e.g. fashion)
  • Away from home, business, or the usual place
  • In a direction/movement away from inside or center
  • noun
  • Act when a batter cannot continue playing
  • verb
  • To tell people a secret

over

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US / 'əʊvə(r) /

UK / ˈovɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Finished; no longer happening
  • Towards the ground/away from a standing position
  • noun
  • A set of six consecutive balls bowled in cricket
  • other
  • Finished
  • preposition
  • Showing the relation when a thing is above another
  • On or covering something
  • Above or across something
  • More than you need
  • From one side to the other
  • In the direction of; toward

dildo

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US / ˈdɪldəʊ /

UK / ˈdɪldoʊ /

A1
  • noun
  • Vibrating device that substitutes for an erect penis to provide vaginal stimulation

ten

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US / ten /

UK / tɛn /

A1
  • number
  • 10

two

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US / tu: /

UK / tu /

A1
  • number
  • 2

and

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US / ənd /

UK / ənd, ən,ænd /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used to refer to two or more things
  • Plus; in addition; on top of that
  • Used to introduce an action that follows another

back

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US / bæk /

UK / bæk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Farthest from the front e.g. in a classroom
  • adverb
  • Have returned to a place you were before
  • noun
  • The part of a chair that the upper body leans upon
  • Location at the rear of something
  • The reverse of side something
  • Area on the rear of your body
  • verb
  • To bet money on something
  • To go backwards in a car
  • To support and encourage someone or some cause

guy

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US / ɡaɪ /

UK / ɡaɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • Man; boy; any person

lot

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US / lɒt /

UK / lɑt /

A1
  • noun
  • What happens to a person in life from chance; fate
  • A group of people seen together
  • Item for sale at an auction
  • Small area of land used for a purpose e.g. parking

poor

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US / pʊə(r) /

UK / pʊr /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Inferior; below the normal standard
  • Deserving of pity or sympathy
  • Without money; not rich

pulp

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US / pʌlp /

UK / pʌlp /

B2
  • noun
  • Soft, succulent part of a fruit

church

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US / tʃɜ:tʃ /

UK / tʃɚtʃ /

A1
  • noun
  • Building where Christians gather and pray to God
  • An occasion of Christian religious prayer, worship

come

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US / kʌm /

UK / kʌm /

A1
  • verb
  • To arrive at a place
  • (Of mail) to be delivered
  • To move toward someone; go with someone
  • To reach a certain point or state

literally

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US / ˈlɪtərəli /

UK / ˈlɪtərəli /

B1
  • adverb
  • So as to express the exact meaning of something
  • Used to say something is true, even if unlikely

marry

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US / 'mærɪ /

UK / ˈmæri /

A1
  • verb
  • To become the husband or wife of someone
  • To perform a marriage ceremony

think

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US / θɪŋk /

UK / θɪŋk /

A1
  • verb
  • To have an idea about something without certainty
  • To have an idea, opinion or belief about something

call

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US / kɔ:l /

UK / kɔl /

A1
  • noun
  • A order or request for action
  • The sound an animal makes, often when in danger
  • A correct prediction, e.g. a decision in a game
  • A short visit to a place or person
  • A decision by a referee or umpire in a game
  • verb
  • To make a request or order for action
  • (Animal) to make sounds to warn of danger
  • To announce the date of an election
  • To make a judgment about something
  • To give someone or something a name
  • To guess in advance the result or outcome
  • To visit a place or person for a short time
  • To phone someone
  • To speak, announce or shout in a loud voice

leave

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US / li:v /

UK / liv /

A1
  • noun
  • Permission to do something
  • Vacation time; time off work
  • verb
  • To go away from; depart
  • To gift property to someone after you die
  • To allow something to continue happening
  • To let something remain unused or available
  • To let something or someone remain somewhere

owner

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US / ˈəʊnə(r) /

UK / ˈoʊnə(r) /

A1
  • noun
  • Person who owns or has something

ban

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US / bæn /

UK / bæn /

B1
  • noun
  • Official action preventing something happening
  • verb
  • To make something illegal or not allowed

chase

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US / tʃeɪs /

UK / tʃes /

A2
  • noun
  • Act of going after someone to catch them
  • other
  • To try very hard to get something that you want
  • verb
  • To go after with the intention of catching

speak

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US / spi:k /

UK / spik /

A1
  • verb
  • To be able to use a certain language
  • To use words to tell information, express thoughts

use

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US / ju:s /

UK / ju:s /

A1
  • noun
  • Ability to employ something
  • Need to enable it to work
  • Permission to do something with something
  • Act of spending money
  • Operation of a machine for its function
  • verb
  • To have; to eat, drink, consume etc.
  • To need to operate or work
  • To operate a machine, e.g. a computer
  • To treat a person badly
  • To do something with, for a task or purpose

write

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US / raɪt /

UK / raɪt /

A1
  • verb
  • To compose letters and words on paper or a screen
  • To invent or create a computer program
  • To create a song or piece of music

either

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US / ˈaɪðə(r) /

UK / ˈiðɚ, ˈaɪðɚ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • One of two (used when there is a choice of two)
  • adverb
  • (After negative statements) likewise, in addition
  • conjunction
  • Used as the first of two connected things
  • determiner
  • Used as the first of two connected things
  • pronoun
  • The one or the other

here

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US / hɪə(r) /

UK / hɪr /

A1
  • adverb
  • In this place; at this location, position or time

hurtful

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US / ˈhɜ:tfəl /

UK / ˈhə:tfəl /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • (Of a remark) causing hurt; upsetting; unkind

small

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US / smɔ:l /

UK / smɔl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Little in size; not big
  • (Of letters) not written in capital letters
  • Being insignificant or minor
  • (Of a business) with few people or things; local
  • (Of voice) being soft and quiet
  • (Of a child) being young

stupid

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US / ˈstju:pɪd /

UK / ˈstu:pɪd /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Not intelligent; lacking ability to learn easily

try

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US / traɪ /

UK / traɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • Act of putting the ball over the rugby goal line
  • verb
  • To make an effort, to attempt to do something
  • To examine someone or something in a court of law
  • To test to see if it is good or you like it
  • To make a person go through hardship; test
  • To examine something to see if it works

jesus

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US / ˈdʒi:zəs /

UK / ˈdʒizəs /

A1
  • exclamation
  • An oath used to express irritation, dismay, or surprise.
  • proper noun
  • The central figure of the Christian religion. Jesus conducted a mission of preaching and healing (wi

race

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US / reɪs /

UK / res /

A2
  • noun
  • Speed contest between people, animals or vehicles
  • People who share physical features or culture
  • verb
  • To take part in a running or swimming competition
  • To move or go at a very fast pace
  • To take someone, something to a place very quickly

should

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US / ʃʊd /

UK / ʃʊd /

A1
  • other
  • Used to indicate what is proper or reasonable

bed

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US / bed /

UK / bɛd /

A1
  • noun
  • Flat bottom surface of a lake, ocean etc.
  • A piece of furniture that people sleep on
  • An area on which other things are put
  • Area of ground to grow vegetables or flowers
  • verb
  • To have sex with someone
  • To plant, fix, or attach something firmly to

probably

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US / ˈprɒbəbli /

UK / ˈprɑbəbli /

A1
  • adverb
  • That is likely to happen or be true

ever

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US / 'evə(r) /

UK / ˈɛvɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • At any time; at all times in the future

tofu

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US / 'təʊfu: /

UK / 'toʊfu: /

C1
  • noun
  • Compressed bean curd used in cooking

too

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US / tu: /

UK / tu /

A1
  • adverb
  • In addition, also; with emphasis
  • Say that something is more than you want

after

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US / 'ɑ:ftə(r) /

UK / ˈæftɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Later than another time, or behind something
  • conjunction
  • Following something before
  • preposition
  • When an event happened or time has passed

always

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US / 'ɔ:lweɪz /

UK / ˈɔlwez,-wɪz,-wiz /

A1
  • adverb
  • For a very long time
  • At all times; in every situation
  • For ever

already

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US / ɔ:lˈredi /

UK / ɔlˈrɛdi /

A1
  • adverb
  • Having happened or been done before this time

frog

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US / frɒg /

UK / frɔ:g /

B1
  • noun
  • Small hopping amphibian

lady

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US / 'leɪdɪ /

UK / ˈledi /

A1
  • noun
  • Another way of saying 'woman'
  • Official title of a woman with high social rank

many

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US / 'menɪ /

UK / ˈmɛni /

A1
  • determiner
  • Used to refer a large number of things

will

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US / wɪl /

UK / wɪl /

A1
  • noun
  • Desire or choice of someone
  • Document saying who gets your money when you die
  • Strong desire to do something; determination
  • Desire to do something; strong wish to do
  • other
  • Used with verbs to express the future
  • verb
  • To leave property to someone after your death
  • To use mental effort to make something happen
  • Am (is, are) likely to do
  • To influence someone to do something
  • To make something happen by strongly wanting it

bit

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US / bɪt /

UK / bɪt /

A1
  • noun
  • Device put in a horse's mouth to control it
  • Small piece of something
  • verb
  • (E.g. of fish) to take bait and be caught

look

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US / lʊk /

UK / lʊk /

A1
  • noun
  • Person's beauty or physical attractiveness
  • Particular style of dress, clothes, or appearance
  • The way someone, something appears to be
  • Act of searching for or examining something
  • verb
  • To appear to be; seem

pour

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US / pɔ:(r) /

UK / pɔr, por /

A2
  • verb
  • To fill a person's glass or cup with a drink
  • To make something flow in a steady stream
  • To rain very heavily

thank

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US / θæŋk /

UK / θæŋk /

A1
  • verb
  • To tell someone you are grateful to them

build

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US / bɪld /

UK / bɪld /

A1
  • noun
  • Your physical shape; physique
  • verb
  • To establish e.g. a reputation, over time
  • To construct a house, office, factory

fiction

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US / ˈfɪkʃn /

UK / ˈfɪkʃən /

B1
  • noun
  • Made-up stories; imagined events
  • False statement or account about something

old

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US / əʊld /

UK / old /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Having existed for a long time, not young or new
  • Age of a person since birth

weed

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US / wi:d /

UK / wid /

C1
  • noun
  • Marijuana
  • Wild plant growing where it is not wanted
  • verb
  • (Childish use) to urinate; go to the bathroom
  • To remove unwanted plants growing wild in a garden
  • To quit or reduce an activity

work

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US / wɜ:k /

UK / wɚk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Activity completed in order to make money
  • noun
  • The product of some artistic or literary endeavor
  • Everything created by an author, artist, musician
  • Activity you do in order to make money
  • Place of employment
  • Final product or result of a some labor or effort
  • verb
  • To bring into a specific state of success
  • To be functioning properly, e.g. a car
  • To do your job in your company or workplace
  • To make an effort to do something
  • To operate a machine or device

they

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US / ðeɪ /

UK / ðe /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Two or more people, animals, or things

very

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US / 'verɪ /

UK / ˈvɛri /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning a large degree or amount
  • adverb
  • A lot; much; many
  • Used to stress or emphasize a noun

cop

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US / kɒp /

UK / kɑp /

B2
  • noun
  • Slang for police officer

dick

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US / dɪk /

UK / dɪk /

A1
  • noun
  • Someone who is a detective

self

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US / self /

UK / sɛlf /

A1
  • noun
  • Person's own interests or desires
  • Person that someone really is
  • Particular aspect of someone's personality
  • Person, usually someone already been mentioned

take

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US / teɪk /

UK / tek /

A1
  • noun
  • Filming of a single scene for TV or the movies
  • verb
  • To accept something that is offered
  • To use a method of traveling, e.g. a bus or train
  • To use a camera to make (a photo)
  • To pick up something and go away with it
  • To study a subject in school
  • To attempt to pass (an exam)
  • To require a certain amount of time, money, space

sir

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US / sɜ:(r) /

UK / sɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Form of polite address to a man you do not know
  • Title used to address men with authority

unplug

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US / ˌʌnˈplʌg /

UK / ʌnˈplʌɡ /

B1
  • verb
  • To pull out the plug of (electrical appliances)

pervert

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US / pəˈvɜ:t /

UK / pərˈvɜ:rt /

B2
  • noun
  • Someone who is sexually deviant
  • verb
  • To corrupt; make someone act in an immoral way
  • To make different/strange in an undesirable way

their

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US / ðɛː /

UK / ðer /

A1
  • determiner
  • Belonging to them

yes

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US / jes /

UK / jɛs /

A1
  • adverb
  • Way to say you agree or will do something

all

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US / ɔ:l /

UK / ɔl /

A1
  • adverb
  • Completely; totally
  • determiner
  • Being every one of something
  • pronoun
  • 100% of something; the complete amount

common

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US / 'kɒmən /

UK / ˈkɑmən /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Shared; Belonging to or used by everyone
  • Typical, normal; not unusual
  • noun
  • Area in a city or town that is open to everyone
  • Field near a village owned by the local community

empty

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US / 'emptɪ /

UK / ˈɛmpti /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Containing nothing; with no contents
  • Without emotions, feelings, meaning or force
  • noun
  • Item, e.g. a bottle, whose contents have been used
  • verb
  • To remove the contents from something

everyone

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US / ˈevriwʌn /

UK / ˈɛvriˌwʌn /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Every person; everybody

drop

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US / drɒp /

UK / drɑp /

A1
  • noun
  • Distance between a higher and a lower level
  • Act of letting something fall (from your hand)
  • A decrease in quantity or quality; reduction
  • Tiny amount of liquid, with rounded bottom
  • verb
  • To drive someone to a place and then drive away
  • To let something fall from your hand
  • To fall or lie down quickly, as when shot
  • To decide to stop something e.g. a course)
  • To (cause to) reduce in quantity or quality

abby

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US / rɪˈspektfl /

UK / rɪˈspɛktfəl /

A1

both

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US / bəuθ /

UK / boθ /

A1
  • determiner
  • Used to refer to two things at the same time
  • pronoun
  • Used to refer to two things at the same time

cup

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US / kʌp /

UK / kʌp /

A1
  • noun
  • Small round container used for drinking
  • Silver trophy teams compete to win
  • Unit of measurement for foods or liquids
  • verb
  • To make the shape of a bowl with your hands

police

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US / pəˈli:s /

UK / pəˈlis /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning the police and its business
  • noun
  • People, often in uniforms, who solve crimes
  • verb
  • To control an area, or group with a police force

neck

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US / nek /

UK / nɛk /

A2
  • noun
  • Part of the body joining the head and the body
  • Opening of a piece of clothing for your head
  • verb
  • (Lovers) to play affectionately; kissing

please

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US / pli:z /

UK / pliz /

A1
  • adverb
  • Used when you politely ask people for things
  • verb
  • To entertain someone, by dancing, singing etc.
  • To make someone happy by doing something

really

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US / ˈri:əli /

UK / ˈriəˌli, ˈrili /

A1
  • adverb
  • Used to stress something that is said; definitely
  • In a true or accurate manner
  • Very

would

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US / wʊd /

UK / wʊd /

A1
  • other
  • Used to indicate something imagined
  • Used to ask or request something politely
  • Verb used to indicate possibility, request etc.
  • Used to indicate a preference
  • Used to indicate a reaction
  • Indicates something that occurred repeatedly
  • Used to indicate willingness or ability to do

bra

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US / brɑ: /

UK / brɑ /

B2
  • noun
  • Woman’s undergarment worn to support the breasts

not

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US / nɒt /

UK / nɑt /

A1
  • adverb
  • Word indicating the negative
  • (Used to form the negative of verbs)

mine

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US / maɪn /

UK / maɪn /

A1
  • noun
  • A bomb hidden in the ground or the sea
  • Rich source of material or information
  • Place under the ground where coal, etc. is dug out
  • pronoun
  • That thing that belongs to me
  • verb
  • To place a bomb in the ground or the sea
  • To dig into the earth or sea to obtain minerals

become

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US / bɪ'kʌm /

UK / bɪˈkʌm /

A1
  • verb
  • To begin to be; grow to be; develop into
  • To be suitable for a particular job or role

but

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US / bət /

UK / bʌt,bət /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used before you say something different, opposite

good

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US / ɡʊd /

UK / ɡʊd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Proper, appropriate or right
  • (Of an amount) enough; plenty
  • Excellent; high quality
  • Acting well or properly; of moral character
  • In a positive or happy emotional state
  • noun
  • Advantage or benefit

life

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US / laɪf /

UK / laɪf /

A1
  • noun
  • All the living things e.g. animals, plants, humans
  • Period of time things live, from birth to death

piss

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US / pɪs /

UK / pɪs /

A1
  • verb
  • To be angry

deal

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US / di:l /

UK / dil /

A1
  • verb
  • To cope with something - usually troubles
  • To give (something bad e.g. news) to
  • To buy and sell illegal drugs
  • To give out (cards, etc.) to; distribute
  • To do business with someone or to sell products

hmm

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US / m /

UK / m /

A1
  • exclamation
  • Sound people make when they are confused

organ

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US / 'ɔ:ɡən /

UK / ˈɔrɡən /

B1
  • noun
  • Part of a person's body with a particular function
  • Large institution or body
  • Large wind instrument similar to a piano

quiver

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US / 'kwɪvə(r) /

UK / ˈkwɪvɚ /

B2
  • noun
  • Container for arrows, worn across the back
  • verb
  • To shake with a slight, rapid, trembling movement

substitute

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US / 'sʌbstɪtju:t /

UK / ˈsʌbstɪˌtut, -ˌtjut /

B2
  • noun
  • A person or thing acting in place of another
  • verb
  • To perform the tasks instead of someone else
  • To replace one person or thing for another

blunt

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US / blʌnt /

UK / blʌnt /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Without a sharp edge or point
  • verb
  • To make dull or lessen the sharpness of something

support

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US / səˈpɔ:t /

UK / səˈpɔrt, -ˈport /

A1
  • noun
  • Assistance or advice given to someone
  • Evidence that helps prove something is true
  • A thing to hold up or prevent from falling down
  • verb
  • To give assistance or advice to someone
  • To help prove or show that something is true
  • To hold up or prevent from falling down

shelve

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US / ʃelv /

UK / ʃɛlv /

A2
  • verb
  • To stop doing something, until a later time
  • To put items on a shelf

can

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US / kæn /

UK / kən,kæn /

A1
  • noun
  • A metal container for storing food
  • other
  • Able to; have the skill to; have the time to
  • verb
  • To have permission to
  • To be possible to do
  • To preserve food by sealing it in a metal container
  • Subtitles section
  • What does a perverted frog say?
  • What?
  • Rub it.
  • Good afternoon.
  • Hello.
  • How you doing?
  • Thanks for coming.
  • Ladies first.
  • Thank you.
  • First time you've ever let a lady come first?
  • Wow.
  • Would you like to go first?
  • No, you can go first.
  • I'll go first.
  • My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology.
  • So I unplugged his life support.
  • That was a bit mean.
  • I'm a bad person.
  • Yeah.
  • I asked my wife why she married me.
  • She said, because you're funny.
  • I said, I thought it was because I was good in bed.
  • She said, see, you're hilarious.
  • Is that one bit close to home?
  • You can't talk after you've done the joke.
  • Is that a rule?
  • Good job.
  • Thank you.
  • You're doing very well.
  • Don't have to sound so surprised.
  • I made a website for orphans.
  • It doesn't have a homepage.
  • The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her.
  • I said no.
  • I can't deal with high maintenance women.
  • Get it?
  • Because she's... High maintenance, because she does a lot of maintenance.
  • You also can't deal with... OK.
  • Good one.
  • Thank you.
  • I have many jokes about unemployed people.
  • Sadly, none of them work.
  • Fuck.
  • Cheers to me.
  • That doesn't count, come on.
  • I didn't say anything.
  • All right, okay, go.
  • Two guide dogs were watching their owners go on a rollercoaster.
  • One turned to the other and said, man, they're lucky they can't see this.
  • Mm hmm.
  • Get it?
  • Yeah, mm hmm.
  • A naked man broke into a church.
  • The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
  • Oh, I get it, because it's like his dick.
  • Because he was like naked, and yeah, I grabbed him by the dick.
  • It's good.
  • Then I got myself there.
  • I told the cop, you can't write me a ticket.
  • I have a marathon to run tomorrow.
  • The cop said, sir, that's not how you play the race card.
  • Yeah.
  • You all right?
  • That was a good one.
  • Thank you.
  • What does a perverted frog say?
  • Rub it.
  • I'll do it again.
  • What does a perverted frog say?
  • What?
  • Rub it.
  • There's disappointment in your eyes when you're like, I fucked that up.
  • This is so sad.
  • I had to laugh at you.
  • Stop being a little bitch.
  • No, no, no.
  • Abby just called me out for pouring half shot tea.
  • Yeah, I probably should.
  • You've done two, I've done ten already.
  • Oh no, to be fair, his was half full at best and it's smaller in the bottom.
  • Like you.
  • Thank you.
  • You're welcome.
  • Why does Dracula always bite people in the neck?
  • Because he's a vampire.
  • Yes, but also he's a necromancer.
  • It was a little laugh.
  • That is piss poor.
  • Better.
  • Why can't Michael Jackson go within five hundred metres of a school?
  • Why?
  • Because he's dead.
  • You also laughed.
  • Oh, come on.
  • After I get home.
  • I asked my wife, so do you think the cup is half full or half empty?
  • And you know what she said?
  • For the love of God, please stop wearing my bras.
  • I've seen you in a bra, you do look good.
  • Wenda's a joke.
  • You are too.
  • I didn't.
  • You didn't?
  • I quivered.
  • I quivered over my joke.
  • Are we not counting a quiver?
  • No.
  • Oh, fuck you.
  • Okay, fine.
  • The jury has spoken.
  • Not guilty.
  • Okay, take two.
  • When does a joke become a dad joke?
  • When?
  • When it leaves you and never comes back.
  • My dad was around.
  • So was mine.
  • Did you know I used to work in a library?
  • No.
  • Yeah.
  • One time, this guy came in and handed me something to shelve.
  • You should have seen the look on his face when I shoved it up my ass.
  • I wrote that joke.
  • I wrote that joke myself, guys.
  • Thank you.
  • I wrote that one my fucking self.
  • As soon as you said it, I was like, if this is going, I think it's going.
  • I'm so proud of that.
  • I wrote that all on my own.
  • What do tofu and dildos have in common?
  • What?
  • They're both meat substitutes.
  • That's a good one.
  • Mm.
  • Mm.
  • Can we ban your mama jokes?
  • They're old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times.
  • Just like your mama.
  • Love you, mom.
  • So do a lot of people.
  • What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
  • Pulp fiction.
  • That was good.
  • I like it.
  • I like it a lot.
  • I really do.
  • Shouldn't it be pulp friction?
  • It was meant to be that.
  • That's why I'm like, I fucked it, but she didn't know either.
  • I don't know, we're laughing anyway.
  • Oh Lord, okay.
  • Okay.
  • Pulp Friction was the punchline for that one.
  • Okay, I'm not taking a shot just because the joke was wrong.
  • I'm just trying.
  • Drops like a blunt.
  • Come here, buddy.
  • You do not do that shot.
  • Do not fucking do that.
  • Love ya.
  • Love you too.
  • Sorry I got you drunk.
  • Oh my lord Jesus, it's fire.
  • Should we do the shot?
  • I mean, we're already fucking here.
  • Fuck it.
  • Yours is not as full as mine, that's hurtful.