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The Paradox of Attraction

Video vocabulary

compare

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US / kəm'peə(r) /

UK / kəmˈpɛr /

A1
  • verb
  • To consider how similar and different things are

interested

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US / ˈɪntrəstɪd /

UK / ˈɪntrɪstɪd, -tərɪstɪd, -təˌrɛstɪd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Having had your attention taken; curious
  • verb
  • To make someone want to know about something
  • To persuade to do, become involved with something

really

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US / ˈri:əli /

UK / ˈriəˌli, ˈrili /

A1
  • adverb
  • Used to stress something that is said; definitely
  • In a true or accurate manner
  • Very

study

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US / 'stʌdɪ /

UK / ˈstʌdi /

A1
  • noun
  • Room that a person studies or reads in
  • Piece of research
  • Topic or subject you research or learn about
  • verb
  • To focus on learning something usually at school

would

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US / wʊd /

UK / wʊd /

A1
  • other
  • Used to indicate something imagined
  • Used to ask or request something politely
  • Verb used to indicate possibility, request etc.
  • Used to indicate a preference
  • Used to indicate a reaction
  • Indicates something that occurred repeatedly
  • Used to indicate willingness or ability to do

effect

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US / ɪ'fekt /

UK / ɪˈfɛkt /

A1
  • noun
  • An advantage, benefit
  • Change brought about by a cause; result

perception

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US / pəˈsepʃn /

UK / pɚˈsɛpʃən /

B1
  • noun
  • Way in which one sees or understands something

sense

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US / sens /

UK / sɛns /

A1
  • noun
  • Certain mental feeling or emotion
  • Normal or clear state of mind
  • Meaning of a particular word, phrase or text
  • verb
  • To perceive using sight, sound, taste touch etc.
  • To recognize the presence of something

surprise

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US / səˈpraɪz /

UK / sərˈpraɪz /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • That surprises you; not expected
  • noun
  • Something unexpected that slightly shocks you
  • verb
  • To do something that another person didn't expect

become

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US / bɪ'kʌm /

UK / bɪˈkʌm /

A1
  • verb
  • To begin to be; grow to be; develop into
  • To be suitable for a particular job or role

behaviour

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US / bɪˈheɪvjə(r) /

UK / bɪˈhevjɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • The way a person or thing acts; manner

apply

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US / ə'plaɪ /

UK / əˈplaɪ /

A1
  • verb
  • To spread a substance or liquid over a surface
  • To commit your time and effort to doing something
  • To make something useful in a certain situation
  • To be relevant for a situation
  • To ask formally for (job, permission etc.)

but

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US / bət /

UK / bʌt,bət /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used before you say something different, opposite

childhood

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US / ˈtʃaɪldhʊd /

UK / ˈtʃaɪldˌhʊd /

B1
  • noun
  • The time when you are a child

give

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US / ɡɪv /

UK / ɡɪv /

A1
  • noun
  • Degree of flexibility in something, a material
  • verb
  • To hand over or present something to someone
  • To cause someone to have or experience something

good

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US / ɡʊd /

UK / ɡʊd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Proper, appropriate or right
  • (Of an amount) enough; plenty
  • Excellent; high quality
  • Acting well or properly; of moral character
  • In a positive or happy emotional state
  • noun
  • Advantage or benefit

life

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US / laɪf /

UK / laɪf /

A1
  • noun
  • All the living things e.g. animals, plants, humans
  • Period of time things live, from birth to death

achieve

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US / ə'tʃi:v /

UK / əˈtʃiv /

A2
  • verb
  • To succeed in doing good, usually by working hard

attraction

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US / ə'trækʃn /

UK / əˈtrækʃən /

A2
  • noun
  • Theme park or fairground; place worth visiting
  • The act of making someone become interested in

concrete

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US / 'kɒŋkri:t /

UK / kɑnˈkrit, kɑŋ-, ˈkɑnˌkrit, ˈkɑŋ- /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning something that is physical or real
  • noun
  • Hard building material made of cement, sand, water
  • verb
  • To cover or make with a hard grey building material

reject

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US / rɪˈdʒekt /

UK / rɪˈdʒɛkt /

A2
  • noun
  • Goods that are not suitable for sale at full price
  • Person others do not like, or refuse to accept
  • verb
  • To decide that something is not good enough
  • To refuse, deny to believe, accept, or consider

experience

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US / ɪk'spɪərɪəns /

UK / ɪkˈspɪriəns /

A1
  • noun
  • Thing a person has done or that happened to them
  • An event at which you learned something
  • Knowledge gained by living life, doing new things
  • verb
  • To gain knowledge by doing things

friend

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US / frend /

UK / frɛnd /

A1
  • noun
  • Person who you like and enjoy being with

now

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US / naʊ /

UK / naʊ /

A1
  • adverb
  • At the present time or moment
  • Right away or in the next possible moment
  • Used to refer to something that just happened
  • Time between the present and a moment in the past
  • conjunction
  • Resulting from or because of something

perceive

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US / pə'si:v /

UK / pɚˈsiv /

B1
  • verb
  • To notice or become aware of something
  • To think of someone or something in a certain way

belief

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US / bɪˈli:f /

UK / bɪˈlif /

A1
  • noun
  • Being sure that something exists or is true
  • Trust in an idea or set of ideas
  • A particular opinion about something

our

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US / 'aʊə(r) /

UK / aʊr /

A1
  • determiner
  • Belonging to us

not

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US / nɒt /

UK / nɑt /

A1
  • adverb
  • Word indicating the negative
  • (Used to form the negative of verbs)

themselves

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US / ðəmˈselvz /

UK / ðɛmˈsɛlvz, ðəm- /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Reflexive form of 'they'

relationship

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US / rɪˈleɪʃnʃɪp /

UK / rɪˈleʃənˌʃɪp /

A2
  • noun
  • Connection between two or more people or things
  • Way people interact or live with each other
  • Romantic or loving friendship between two people

seven

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US / ˈsevn /

UK / ˈsɛvən /

A1
  • number
  • Number 7

want

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US / wɔnt /

UK / wɑnt, wɔnt /

A1
  • noun
  • Something you desire or wish for
  • State or condition of poverty
  • verb
  • To desire or wish for something; hope for a thing

willingness

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US / 'wɪlɪŋnəs /

UK / ˈwɪlɪŋnɪs /

A2
  • noun
  • Cheerful agreement to do something

anyone

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US / ˈeniwʌn /

UK / ˈɛniˌwʌn, -wən /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Any person

attract

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US / ə'trækt /

UK / əˈtrækt /

A2
  • verb
  • To make something move closer using magnetic force
  • To make someone notice and become interested in

cue

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US / kju: /

UK / kju /

B2
  • noun
  • Word or action in a play to tell an actor to speak
  • Signal telling when you have to do something
  • verb
  • To give a signal telling someone when to act/speak

great

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US / ɡreɪt /

UK / ɡret /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Very large in size
  • Very important
  • Very good; fantastic; wonderful
  • adverb
  • Very good; better than before
  • noun
  • Successful and well-admired person

enough

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US / ɪˈnʌf /

UK / ɪˈnʌf /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Sufficient to answer the need
  • adverb
  • To a satisfactory degree
  • pronoun
  • Equal to what is needed; as much as required
  • Adequate number or amount

find

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US / faɪnd /

UK / faɪnd /

A1
  • noun
  • Object discovered by chance
  • Things that have been discovered from searching
  • verb
  • To become aware of something that is happening
  • To discover or meet by chance
  • To decide if someone is guilty of a crime, or not
  • To learn through study, research, or effort
  • To discover something by looking for it

mean

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US / mi:n /

UK / min /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being good at
  • Nasty; unkind
  • Not liking to spend money; cheap; stingy
  • noun
  • Average of a set of numbers
  • verb
  • To express a particular idea or thought
  • To intend to do something in particular
  • To have a particular meaning or value

offer

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US / 'ɒfə(r) /

UK / ˈɔfɚ, ˈɑfɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Price you say you are willing to pay for something
  • Act of making a thing available to be accepted
  • verb
  • To suggest a price you are willing to pay
  • To give the opportunity to accept something
  • To say you are willing to do something
  • To give or say something as an act of worship

recall

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US / rɪˈkɔ:l /

UK / rɪˈkɔl /

A2
  • noun
  • (Company) asking for the return of faulty goods
  • Act of remembering events or details of the past
  • verb
  • (Company) to ask for the return of faulty goods
  • To remember events or details of the past

behave

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US / bɪˈheɪv /

UK / bɪˈhev /

A2
  • verb
  • To act correctly
  • To act in a particular way
  • To react in a particular way in a given case

first

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US / fɜ:st /

UK / fɚst /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • 1st; Coming before all others in time or place
  • noun
  • Something that has not happened before
  • Position of the winner of a competition

hard

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US / hɑ:d /

UK / hɑː(r)d /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Difficult to do; difficult to understand
  • (Of facts) not able to be misunderstood; clear
  • (Of alcohol) strong
  • Involving or requiring lots of work, effort, care
  • Being full of pain, trouble, and problems
  • Strong
  • (Of edge) clear; sharp
  • Difficult to bend, break or cut; solid
  • adverb
  • With lots of force, power, or impact

get

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US / ɡet /

UK / ɡɛt /

A1
  • verb
  • To become affected by illness or disease
  • To begin to feel or understand an emotion or idea
  • To send or bring someone or something home, etc.
  • To go somewhere to obtain something
  • To (cause to) do a particular thing
  • To obtain, receive or be given something
  • To currently have
  • To prepare for use
  • To understand something being said or read

about

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US / ə'baʊt /

UK / əˈbaʊt /

A1
  • adverb
  • To be ready to; going to
  • Nearly; approximately; roughly
  • Near; next to; close to
  • In every direction; in the area of
  • preposition
  • Concerning or of (a topic)

even

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US / 'i:vn /

UK / ˈivən /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being equal in influence, power, possibility etc.
  • Being divided equally or fairly
  • (Of teams/contest) with similar chances of success
  • Smooth, level, or regular
  • Can be divided by 2; ending in 2, 4, 6, 8, or 0
  • At a regular, equally steady manner
  • Remaining steady and unchanging
  • adverb
  • (When this is surprising) as well; too
  • (Used to compare two things/stress the difference)
  • verb
  • To make something level; to flatten
  • To make something equal

like

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US / laɪk /

UK / laɪk /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being equal in status or kind to something else
  • Similar; the same
  • adverb
  • For example
  • preposition
  • Used as a filler; used to ad emphasis
  • In a way similar to the way something is done
  • Such as; for example
  • verb
  • To want to
  • To find something pleasing; to prefer something

people

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US / 'pi:pl /

UK / ˈpipəl /

A1
  • noun
  • Persons sharing culture, country, background, etc.
  • Men, Women, Children

prefer

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US / prɪˈfɜ:(r) /

UK / prɪˈfɚ /

A1
  • verb
  • To like something better than something else

second

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US / 'sekənd /

UK / ˈsɛkənd /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • 2nd; the one following first
  • noun
  • Unit of time; one sixtieth of a minute
  • Short period of time that you wait for someone
  • (Do) soon

secure

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US / sɪ'kjʊə(r) /

UK / sɪˈkjʊr /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Being attached to something tightly and surely
  • (Place that is) locked, guarded and safe
  • verb
  • To get or achieve something with certainty
  • To firmly attach something to something else
  • To protect from danger or harm, keep things safe

what

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US / wɒt /

UK / hwɑt, hwʌt, wɔt, wʌt,hwət, wət /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Thing or things that; the same kind as
  • Used to emphasize something you are about to say
  • adjecitve
  • Used to refer to a particular amount, or number
  • Used to place emphasis on a particular quality
  • adverb
  • To a certain degree
  • determiner
  • Question words used for asking for information
  • exclamation
  • Used to express excitement, shock, or surprise
  • Used to ask people to repeat something they said

that

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US / ðæt /

UK / ðæt, ðət /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • The person or thing being talked about
  • Used to identify something both the speakers know
  • adverb
  • Used to reinforce adjectives and adverbs
  • To such a degree
  • conjunction
  • Used to connect a noun clause
  • Used to introduce an adverbial clause
  • Used to introduce a noun clause
  • determiner
  • Used as a noun to refer to something
  • pronoun
  • Referring an object far away
  • Used to refer to the relative pronoun ‘which’

align

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US / əˈlaɪn /

UK / əˈlaɪn /

B2
  • verb
  • To arrange (e.g. objects) in line with one another

example

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US / ɪgˈzɑ:mpl /

UK / ɪɡˈzæmpəl /

A1
  • noun
  • Thing, person which represents a category

criticize

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US / ˈkrɪtɪsaɪz /

UK / ˈkrɪtɪˌsaɪz /

B1
  • verb
  • To assess the work of others
  • To say that someone or something is bad

greatly

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US / ˈgreɪtli /

UK / ˈɡreɪtli /

A2
  • adverb
  • An extraordinary extent or degree

happen

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US / 'hæpən /

UK / ˈhæpən /

A1
  • verb
  • To take place or occur

similarly

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US / ˈsɪmələli /

UK / ˈsɪmələrli /

A2
  • adverb
  • In a way almost the same as something else

strengthen

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US / ˈstreŋθn /

UK / ˈstrɛŋkθən,ˈstrɛŋ-,ˈstrɛn- /

A2
  • verb
  • To make something stronger

crush

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US / krʌʃ /

UK / krʌʃ /

B1
  • noun
  • Strong attraction to someone
  • verb
  • To break something into small pieces by pressing
  • To defeat someone or something (in a game)
  • To damage something by flattening it
  • To cause someone to feel humiliated

friedberg

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US / ˈfraɪdbərg /

UK / /

A1

own

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US / əʊn /

UK / on /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Belong to oneself
  • determiner
  • Yours, his, hers, etc.; not belonging to another
  • pronoun
  • (Something) belong to myself
  • verb
  • To have something as your property

place

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US / pleɪs /

UK / ples /

A1
  • noun
  • Particular location, area or region
  • verb
  • To put someone in a particular type of situation
  • To put something in a certain location or position

down

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US / daʊn /

UK / daʊn /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being sad, sick, or unhappy
  • Not operating, working, or functioning as expected
  • adverb
  • In a sitting or lying position
  • Towards or on the ground, floor, or bottom
  • Written or copied onto a piece of paper or book
  • noun
  • A period of play in American Football
  • The soft, smooth hairs that cover a bird's body
  • preposition
  • Along something's path, course, or direction
  • Going from a higher position to a lower position
  • verb
  • To eat or drink very quickly and without stopping

include

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US / ɪnˈklu:d /

UK / ɪnˈklud /

A1
  • verb
  • To make someone, something part of a group

then

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US / ðen /

UK / ðɛn /

A1
  • adverb
  • A time that is not now
  • Following another thing in time or arrangement
  • Following on reasonably from what was just stated
  • At that time, not now

suppose

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US / sə'pəʊz /

UK / səˈpoʊz /

A2
  • conjunction
  • What if
  • verb
  • To imagine or guess what might happen

nothing

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US / 'nʌθɪŋ /

UK / ˈnʌθɪŋ /

A1
  • noun
  • Item of little or no value, importance, interest
  • Number or value of zero
  • pronoun
  • Not anything, not a single thing

tell

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US / tel /

UK / tɛl /

A1
  • verb
  • To (strongly) advise a person to do something
  • To be able to guess
  • To say or communicate information to someone
  • To inform, but without speaking; indicate
  • To have a negative effect on someone
  • To order someone to do something; command
  • To recognize something based on certain signs
  • To report something to an authority
  • To explain something or teach someone something

never

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US / 'nevə(r) /

UK / ˈnɛvɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Not ever; not at any time

personal

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US / ˈpɜ:sənl /

UK / ˈpɚsənəl /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Done by or to a particular person; individual
  • Concerning a person's private life or feelings

romantic

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US / rəʊˈmæntɪk /

UK / roʊˈmæntɪk /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Relating to courtship or love
  • Being impractical, unrealistic, or idealistic
  • Of or involving the ideas or values of romanticism
  • noun
  • People who like love, candlelit dinners, etc.
  • Person living in a fantasy-like world not reality

shall

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US / ʃəl /

UK / ʃæl /

A2
  • other
  • Expressing the future tense, to expect to happen
  • (Used to say something is required or commanded)
  • (Used to make a suggestion or ask a question)

success

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US / sək'ses /

UK / səkˈsɛs /

A2
  • noun
  • Achievement of a desired purpose or goal
  • A successful person; one who achieved their aims

begin

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US / bɪ'ɡɪn /

UK / ˈbeɡɪn /

A1
  • verb
  • To do the first part of an action; to start

interpret

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US / ɪn'tɜ:prɪt /

UK / ɪnˈtɚprɪt /

A2
  • verb
  • To express so that others understand it
  • To translate what is said into another language

such

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US / sʌtʃ /

UK / sʌtʃ /

A1
  • determiner
  • Being similar to
  • (Thing) as previously stated or referred to
  • adverb
  • (Used to emphasize the quality of an adjective)

trap

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US / træp /

UK / træp /

A2
  • noun
  • Device used for catching animals
  • Vehicle pulled by a single horse
  • Area or hazard on a golf course
  • Someone's mouth
  • Uncomfortable event that is hard to escape
  • verb
  • To use a device to catch animals or people
  • To hold, e.g. a nerve, so that it cannot move
  • To catch or prevent someone from escaping
  • To trick someone
  • To put into a situation you can't escape from

attractive

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US / əˈtræktɪv /

UK / əˈtræktɪv /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Making you like them, as by being good-looking

for

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US / fə(r) /

UK / fɔr,fə /

A1
  • preposition
  • Used to show the purpose, or need of something

short

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US / ʃɔ:t /

UK / ʃɔrt /

A1
  • adverb
  • Less than what is needed
  • Suddenly stopping what you are saying or doing
  • verb
  • (Of electric circuit) to spark because faulty
  • adjecitve
  • Measuring a small distance
  • Happening for a small amount of time
  • Unfriendly or rude

time

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US / taɪm /

UK / taɪm /

A1
  • noun
  • Speed at which music is played; tempo
  • Point as shown on a clock, e.g. 3 p.m
  • Number of hours, minutes needed to do something
  • Occasion when something happens
  • Period or occasion that something occurred
  • Period in history or the past
  • Something measured in minutes, hours, days, etc.
  • How long an event takes; duration
  • verb
  • To check speed at which music is performed
  • To choose a specific moment to do something
  • To measure how long an event takes, e.g. a race
  • To schedule something to occur at a specific moment

why

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US / waɪ /

UK / hwaɪ, waɪ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Question word to ask for a reason
  • exclamation
  • (Used to express surprise or approval)

define

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US / dɪ'faɪn /

UK / dɪˈfaɪn /

A2
  • verb
  • To explain the meaning of words
  • To set or mark the limits of something

those

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US / ðəʊz /

UK / ðoz /

A1
  • determiner
  • The people or things we are talking about
  • pronoun
  • The objects far from the speaker

career

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US / kə'rɪə(r) /

UK / kəˈrɪr /

A2
  • noun
  • Particular occupation in professional life
  • verb
  • To move forward very fast and without control

chinese

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US / /

UK / /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning the culture and people of China

overly

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US / ˈəʊvəli /

UK / ˈoʊvərli /

B2
  • adverb
  • To a degree exceeding normal or proper limits

earth

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US / ɜ:θ /

UK / ɚθ /

A1
  • noun
  • Wire connecting an electrical device to the ground
  • The planet we live on
  • Soil in which we grow plants

fact

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US / fækt /

UK / fækt /

A1
  • noun
  • Something that is known or proved to be true

much

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US / mʌtʃ /

UK / mʌtʃ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Very; to a high level or degree
  • adverb
  • A lot; large amount; a high degree of
  • Nearly; basically
  • On many occasions; often
  • noun
  • A large amount; a great quantity

positive

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US / ˈpɒzətɪv /

UK / ˈpɑzɪtɪv /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Showing agreement or support for something
  • Being sure about something; knowing the truth
  • Having the charge produced by electrons
  • Being good or useful
  • Showing that a chemical is present in a test

strong

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US / strɒŋ /

UK / strɔŋ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • (Of tea or beer) dark or thick
  • Having big muscles; physically powerful

willard

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US / ˈwɪlərd /

UK / /

A1

ask

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US / ɑ:sk /

UK / æsk /

A1
  • verb
  • To say to someone that you want something

die

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US / daɪ /

UK / daɪ /

A1
  • noun
  • Cube with dots numbering 1-6 on it used in games
  • verb
  • To cease to function or work
  • (Of a thing) to stop being used or done
  • (Of a person) to stop living

objectively

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US / əb'dʒektɪvlɪ /

UK / əbˈdʒɛktɪvlɪ /

B1
  • adverb
  • In an open-minded way; without prejudice

piece

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US / pi:s /

UK / pis /

A1
  • noun
  • A counter in a board game
  • Small part of something larger
  • verb
  • To put items together to assemble something

start

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US / stɑ:t /

UK / stɑrt /

A1
  • noun
  • First time or place that a thing exists; beginning
  • First opportunity to achieve something, e.g. a job
  • Sudden action or movement because you are scared
  • other
  • Beginning of something in place or time
  • verb
  • To do, be or happen for the first time; begin
  • To turn something on

well

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US / wel /

UK / wɛl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being in a fortunate, good condition or state
  • Healthy and in good condition
  • adverb
  • In an acceptable, proper, or successful manner
  • In a complete, total, or full manner
  • A great and considerable degree
  • In a successful way, in a good or satisfactory way
  • exclamation
  • Used to begin or continue a particular statement
  • Used to show you want to start saying something
  • Used to express that you are waiting for a reply
  • You say this to change the topic of a conversation
  • Used to indicate you are making a final remark
  • noun
  • Long deep hole in the ground to get water
  • verb
  • To cause your eyes to fill with tears

yourself

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US / jɔ:ˈself /

UK / jʊrˈsɛlf, jɔr-, jor-, jə- /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Reflexive form of 'you', used for an emphasis

depend

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US / dɪˈpend /

UK / dɪˈpend /

B1
  • verb
  • Be controlled or determined by (someone/something)

reactance

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US / riˈæktəns /

UK / riˈæktəns /

A1
  • other
  • Opposition to the flow of electric current resulting from inductance and capacitance (rather than re

question

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US / 'kwestʃən /

UK / ˈkwɛstʃən /

A1
  • noun
  • Issue or problems you are dealing with
  • What you ask about; issue
  • verb
  • To ask for or try to get information
  • To have or express concerns or uncertainty

wonder

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US / 'wʌndə(r) /

UK / ˈwʌndɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Surprise caused by experiencing something amazing
  • verb
  • To feel curious about something
  • To think or consider about something over time

let

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US / let /

UK / lɛt /

A1
  • verb
  • To allow someone to do something
  • Introducing a suggestion to do something together
  • To rent a house, etc. to others

lead

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US / li:d /

UK / lid /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Being the main part in movies or plays
  • noun
  • Wire for electricity, computer, etc.; cable
  • Information that could help to solve a crime
  • Main part in a play or movie
  • Heavy, gray metal element
  • Rope used to tie something to stop it escaping
  • Act of being at the front in a race or game
  • verb
  • To show the way or guide others
  • To be at the front of a race or game
  • To travel in front of; go in advance of others

might

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US / maɪt /

UK / maɪt /

A1
  • other
  • Used to politely request an action
  • Used to express that something could happen
  • Power, strength, force or influence

researcher

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US / rɪ'sɜ:tʃə(r) /

UK / rɪˈsətʃɚ /

A2
  • noun
  • Someone who works to find new facts and ideas

the

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US / ðə /

UK / ðə /

A1
  • article
  • Used to refer to something already mentioned
  • Used to show there is only one of something
  • determiner
  • Used to describe all of a family

answer

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US / 'ɑ:nsə(r) /

UK / ˈænsɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Reply to a question someone asks
  • Solution to a problem or test question
  • verb
  • To reply to a question someone asks
  • To solve a test question or a problem

core

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US / kɔ:(r) /

UK / kɔr, kor /

A2
  • noun
  • Important central part of something
  • verb
  • To take out the central section of a fruit

finger

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US / ˈfɪŋgə(r) /

UK / ˈfɪŋɡɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • One of the five long parts of the hand
  • verb
  • To touch something with the ends of the hands
  • To identify the person guilty of a crime

less

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US / les /

UK / lɛs /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Smaller in amount or degree
  • adverb
  • To a smaller degree
  • noun
  • A smaller amount
  • preposition
  • With the subtraction of

predict

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US / prɪ'dɪkt /

UK / prɪˈdɪkt /

A2
  • verb
  • To guess or estimate what will or might happen

make

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US / meɪk /

UK / mek /

A1
  • noun
  • Product made by a particular company; brand
  • verb
  • To arrange or prepare something e.g. dinner
  • To get to (a place) on time
  • To gain the status of (teacher, lawyer, etc.)
  • To create something by putting things together
  • To earn a certain amount of money at a job
  • To cause or force a person to do something
  • To cause something to happen or be formed

order

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US / 'ɔ:də(r) /

UK / ˈɔrdɚ /

A1
  • noun
  • Religious or social group, as of nuns
  • Instructions to others to do what you want
  • State in which things are neat and organized
  • What you ask to buy, e.g. food in restaurant
  • Social or political control of an area
  • verb
  • To put things in a sequence, e.g. a, b, c
  • To give instructions to others to do what you want
  • To ask for something you want to buy, e.g. a meal

treat

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US / tri:t /

UK / trit /

A1
  • noun
  • Something you buy for others as a surprise present
  • something that tastes good and that is not eaten often
  • verb
  • To pay for the food or enjoyment of someone else
  • To use medical methods to try to cure an illness
  • To act in a certain way toward someone

entire

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US / ɪn'taɪə(r) /

UK / ɛnˈtaɪr /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Complete or full; with no part left out; whole

famous

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US / 'feɪməs /

UK / ˈfeməs /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Excellent
  • Widely known; recognized by many people

lucky

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US / 'lʌkɪ /

UK / ˈlʌki /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Fortunate; having good things happen by chance

other

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US / 'ʌðə(r) /

UK / ˈʌðər /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • A thing different from that mentioned
  • determiner
  • (Something) else; not the first (one)
  • pronoun
  • Being the one and only thing of that category

prophecy

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US / 'prɒfəsɪ /

UK / ˈprɑfɪsi /

B2
  • noun
  • Statement that something will happen in the future

turn

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US / tɜ:n /

UK / tɚn /

A1
  • noun
  • Place where changing of direction happens
  • Your time or chance to perform a duty
  • Your chance to play or do in say a game
  • Unexpected change, as in the weather
  • verb
  • To become (a particular age)
  • To become a different quality, color, etc.
  • To change the direction of something, e.g. a car
  • To move in an opposite direction or position
  • To shape metal with a spinning tool

how

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US / haʊ /

UK / haʊ /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • To what degree? in what amount?
  • adverb
  • (Used to explain the way to do something)
  • exclamation
  • For what purpose or reason?
  • (Used to ask someone or something's condition)

reverse

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US / rɪ'vɜ:s /

UK / rɪˈvɚs /

B1
  • noun
  • Setting that makes the vehicle go backward
  • (Drive a vehicle) backward gear of a vehicle
  • Instance of a significant change, for the worse
  • In a backwards order
  • Back part or side of something
  • verb
  • To drive a vehicle backward
  • To change to an opposite state, way or condition
  • To change back to a previous or normal condition
  • To change something to its opposite

simply

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US / ˈsɪmpli /

UK / ˈsɪmpli /

A1
  • adverb
  • In an easy or clear manner

you

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US / jʊ /

UK / ju /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Person someone is speaking or writing to
  • Person or people in general

this

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US / ðɪs /

UK / ðɪs /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Used to indicate something already been discussed
  • Used to indicate something happening around now
  • adverb
  • An indication by a physical motion or gesture
  • A specific amount of
  • determiner
  • Person, thing, or idea near you
  • pronoun
  • Person, thing that has already been discussed

opposite

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US / ˈɔpəzit /

UK / ˈɑpəzɪt /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Being totally different from
  • noun
  • Person, thing that is totally different to another
  • preposition
  • Across from or on the side facing something

physical

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US / ˈfɪzɪkl /

UK / ˈfɪzɪkəl /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning the body of a person
  • Concerning things that can be seen or touched
  • noun
  • Health check at the doctors' or hospital

teach

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US / ti:tʃ /

UK / titʃ /

A1
  • verb
  • To help someone learn or do something

adage

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US / ˈædɪdʒ /

UK / ˈædɪdʒ /

C1
  • noun
  • Wise, well-known phrase about common experiences

approval

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US / əˈpru:vl /

UK / əˈpruvəl /

A2
  • noun
  • Agreement that person/thing is acceptable
  • Positive opinion of something or someone

environmental

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US / ɪnˌvaɪrənˈmentl /

UK / ɛnˌvaɪrənˈmɛntl:, -ˌvaɪən /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Of the natural world of plants and animals

keep

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US / ki:p /

UK / kip /

A1
  • noun
  • Large, strong tower in the middle of a castle
  • Money spent on you so you can live in a place
  • verb
  • To continue doing something; not to stop
  • To stop balls going in a goal in sports
  • To not give back or return something
  • (Of food) to not spoil or not rot
  • To take possession of something to own, e.g. a pet
  • To have and continue to hold something
  • To do something that you have promised or agreed
  • To stay in a certain place or condition
  • To maintain the rules

something

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US / ˈsʌmθɪŋ /

UK / ˈsʌmθɪŋ /

A1
  • adverb
  • In some degree or measure
  • noun
  • a person or thing of some value or consequence
  • pronoun
  • Thing that is not yet known or named
  • Approximately

effort

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US / ˈefət /

UK / ˈɛfət /

A2
  • noun
  • Amount of work used trying to do something

come

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US / kʌm /

UK / kʌm /

A1
  • verb
  • To arrive at a place
  • (Of mail) to be delivered
  • To move toward someone; go with someone
  • To reach a certain point or state

think

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US / θɪŋk /

UK / θɪŋk /

A1
  • verb
  • To have an idea about something without certainty
  • To have an idea, opinion or belief about something

from

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US / frəm /

UK / frʌm, frɑm,frəm /

A1
  • preposition
  • Starting at a particular place, time or level

form

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US / fɔ:m /

UK / fɔrm /

A1
  • noun
  • Sports team or person's current winning record
  • Document you complete when making an application
  • Visible shape or style; type; kind
  • verb
  • To organize something such as a club or group
  • To develop; to come into a shape or substance
  • To make something into a particular shape

over

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US / 'əʊvə(r) /

UK / ˈovɚ /

A1
  • adverb
  • Finished; no longer happening
  • Towards the ground/away from a standing position
  • noun
  • A set of six consecutive balls bowled in cricket
  • other
  • Finished
  • preposition
  • Showing the relation when a thing is above another
  • On or covering something
  • Above or across something
  • More than you need
  • From one side to the other
  • In the direction of; toward

andrew

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US / ˈænˌdəʊvə, -də- /

UK / ˈænˌdovɚ, -də- /

A1

only

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US / ˈəunli /

UK / ˈonli /

A1
  • adverb
  • Just one; just that amount or thing; not more than
  • Not very important or serious
  • Just that type of thing, person
  • Short time ago; not before a certain time
  • conjunction
  • Except; but

perhaps

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US / pəˈhæps /

UK / pɚˈhæps /

A1
  • adverb
  • Possibly, but not certainly; maybe

put

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US / pʊt /

UK / pʊt /

A1
  • phrasal verb
  • to make a light stop shining by pressing or moving a switch
  • verb
  • To move or place a thing in a particular position
  • To rate something in importance or value
  • To write or say something in a certain manner

two

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US / tu: /

UK / tu /

A1
  • number
  • 2

early

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US / ˈɜ:li /

UK / ˈɜ:rli /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Happening or appearing before
  • adverb
  • Coming/happening before others in a time sequence
  • Happening sooner than expected

most

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US / məʊst /

UK / most /

A1
  • adverb
  • Very; extremely
  • Greatest possible degree
  • pronoun
  • Nearly all of something

secret

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US / 'si:krət /

UK / 'si:krət /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • That you don't want others to know; private
  • noun
  • Information you do not want others to know

and

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US / ənd /

UK / ənd, ən,ænd /

A1
  • conjunction
  • Used to refer to two or more things
  • Plus; in addition; on top of that
  • Used to introduce an action that follows another

abandon

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US / ə'bændən /

UK / əˈbændən /

B1
  • noun
  • Wild, carefree behavior
  • verb
  • To discard or intentionally get rid of an item
  • To withdraw your support, or leave someone
  • To stop doing or having (hope, plans); give up
  • To leave a place, car and not go back
  • To surrender to a desire, with little self-control

base

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US / beɪs /

UK / bes /

A2
  • noun
  • Place military personnel live, train, and operate
  • Bottom part of an object that touches a surface
  • Unit of counting, e.g. 10 for counting
  • Most important idea or ingredient to add others
  • Origin or start from which something came
  • Main place where an organization or a person works
  • verb
  • To use as the starting point or origin for
  • To have as the main location for (company, etc.)

bush

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US / bʊʃ /

UK / bʊʃ /

A2
  • noun
  • A wooden plant that is smaller than a tree

external

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US / eksˈtə:nl /

UK / ɪkˈstɚnəl /

A2
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning foreign countries
  • Concerning the outside of something; outer
  • Coming from the outside

lot

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US / lɒt /

UK / lɑt /

A1
  • noun
  • What happens to a person in life from chance; fate
  • A group of people seen together
  • Item for sale at an auction
  • Small area of land used for a purpose e.g. parking

psychology

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US / saɪ'kɒlədʒɪ /

UK / saɪˈkɑlədʒi /

C2
  • noun
  • The study of the mind and how it affects behavior
  • Way in which a person or group thinks and behaves

affectionate

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US / əˈfekʃənət /

UK / əˈfɛkʃənɪt /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Having or displaying warmth or affection

environment

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US / ɪn'vaɪrənmənt /

UK / ɛnˈvaɪrənmənt, -ˈvaɪən- /

A1
  • noun
  • Natural world in which plants and animals live
  • The entire surrounding conditions of something

paradoxical

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US / ˌpærə'dɒksɪkl /

UK / ˌpærə'dɒksɪkl /

B2
  • adjecitve
  • Seemingly contradictory but possibly true

call

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US / kɔ:l /

UK / kɔl /

A1
  • noun
  • A order or request for action
  • The sound an animal makes, often when in danger
  • A correct prediction, e.g. a decision in a game
  • A short visit to a place or person
  • A decision by a referee or umpire in a game
  • verb
  • To make a request or order for action
  • (Animal) to make sounds to warn of danger
  • To announce the date of an election
  • To make a judgment about something
  • To give someone or something a name
  • To guess in advance the result or outcome
  • To visit a place or person for a short time
  • To phone someone
  • To speak, announce or shout in a loud voice

insecure

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US / ˌɪnsɪ'kjʊə(r) /

UK / ˌɪnsɪˈkjʊr /

B1
  • adjecitve
  • Lacking confidence or certainty about yourself
  • Not being safe or stable

act

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US / ækt /

UK / ækt /

A1
  • noun
  • What someone did; action; behavior
  • A law or rule passed by a government we must obey
  • One of the parts that a stage play is divided into
  • verb
  • To behave in a certain way
  • To perform on a stage or in a movie

believe

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US / bɪ'li:v /

UK / bɪˈliv /

A1
  • verb
  • To think or accept that something is true
  • To have a particular opinion about something

attention

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US / əˈtenʃn /

UK / əˈtɛnʃən /

A2
  • noun
  • Taking notice of someone or something
  • (Soldiers) Standing with straight backs

look

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US / lʊk /

UK / lʊk /

A1
  • noun
  • Person's beauty or physical attractiveness
  • Particular style of dress, clothes, or appearance
  • The way someone, something appears to be
  • Act of searching for or examining something
  • verb
  • To appear to be; seem

all

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US / ɔ:l /

UK / ɔl /

A1
  • adverb
  • Completely; totally
  • determiner
  • Being every one of something
  • pronoun
  • 100% of something; the complete amount

accordingly

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US / əˈkɔ:dɪŋli /

UK / əˈkɔ:rdɪŋli /

A2
  • adverb
  • Taking the situation into account; appropriately

everyone

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US / ˈevriwʌn /

UK / ˈɛvriˌwʌn /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Every person; everybody

its

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US / ɪts /

UK / ɪts /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Referring to or belonging to ‘it’
  • determiner
  • Of something; belonging or related to something
  • other
  • Possessive form of “it”

who

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US / hu: /

UK / hu /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Which person
  • Used to introduce information about people

principle

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US / ˈprɪnsəpl /

UK / ˈprɪnsəpəl /

A2
  • noun
  • Moral rule or belief governing a person's behavior
  • Natural law that explains how things work

they

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US / ðeɪ /

UK / ðe /

A1
  • pronoun
  • Two or more people, animals, or things

planting

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US / ˈplɑːntɪŋ /

UK / ˈplæntɪŋ /

A2
  • verb
  • To firmly position something (in the ground)
  • To put seeds, flowers, trees in the ground

very

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US / 'verɪ /

UK / ˈvɛri /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Concerning a large degree or amount
  • adverb
  • A lot; much; many
  • Used to stress or emphasize a noun

contingent

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US / kənˈtɪndʒənt /

UK / kənˈtɪndʒənt /

B2
  • adjecitve
  • Dependent (on); likely to result (from)
  • noun
  • Group of soldiers that assist an army; detachment

change

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US / tʃeɪndʒ /

UK / tʃendʒ /

A1
  • noun
  • Exchange of one set of clothes for another
  • Money in the form of coins instead of paper
  • Money returned after giving too much
  • Act of making or becoming something else
  • verb
  • To exchange one set of clothes for another
  • To exchange one kind of money for another
  • To replace something with another thing
  • To make or become something else
  • To go from one train, bus, etc. and go to another

pressure

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US / 'preʃə(r) /

UK / ˈprɛʃɚ /

A2
  • noun
  • Anxiety caused by difficult problems
  • Force, weight when pressing against a thing
  • Strong persuasion to do something
  • verb
  • To apply force to something
  • To persuade or force someone to do something

space

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US / speɪs /

UK / spes /

A1
  • noun
  • Empty area kept for a specific reason, like a car
  • Empty area with nothing in it
  • Area in the sky where the stars are
  • Area between written words on a page
  • verb
  • To make a certain distance or time between

theory

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US / ˈθiəri /

UK / ˈθiəri, ˈθɪri /

A2
  • noun
  • Ideas or principles that explain facts or events

show

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US / ʃəʊ /

UK / ʃo /

A1
  • noun
  • False display of love, emotion or action
  • An event for displaying or promoting goods
  • Play, opera or theater production
  • Presentation that is broadcast on TV or radio
  • verb
  • To be easily seen or displayed
  • To display your emotions or feelings
  • To let someone see something; display
  • To explain or teach how something is done
  • To lead someone somewhere; point them to something
  • To prove something to be true, correct
  • To reveal or allow something to be seen

simple

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US / 'sɪmpl /

UK / ˈsɪmpəl /

A1
  • adjecitve
  • Not hard to understand or do; not complex
  • Having only a few parts; not complex
  • Being ordinary or normal
  • Being plain; without a lot added for style

agree

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US / əˈgri: /

UK / əˈɡri /

A1
  • verb
  • To have the same opinion as someone else

detective

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US / dɪˈtektɪv /

UK / dɪˈtɛktɪv /

A2
  • noun
  • Person who investigates and solves crimes

else

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US / els /

UK / ɛls /

A1
  • adverb
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their

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US / ðɛː /

UK / ðer /

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  • determiner
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way

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US / weɪ /

UK / we /

A1
  • adverb
  • Used to emphasize the amount of something
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yes

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US / jes /

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A1
  • adverb
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regardless

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US / rɪˈgɑ:dləs /

UK / rɪˈɡɑrdlɪs /

A2
  • adverb
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fulfilment

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US / fʊl'fɪlmənt /

UK / fʊl'fɪlmənt /

B2
  • noun
  • Feeling of satisfaction from achieving something

work

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US / wɜ:k /

UK / wɚk /

A1
  • adjecitve
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evidence

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UK / ˈɛvɪdəns /

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  • noun
  • Factual proof that helps to establish the truth

intimate

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  • adjecitve
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main

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US / meɪn /

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  • adjecitve
  • Most important; most often used

possible

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US / ˈpɒsəbl /

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  • adjecitve
  • Being able or appropriate for a task or purpose
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assert

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US / ə'sɜ:t /

UK / əˈsɚt /

B1
  • verb
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mind

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US / maɪnd /

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  • noun
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  • Part of humans that allows us to think or feel
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remember

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US / rɪ'membə(r) /

UK / rɪˈmɛmbɚ /

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know

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US / nəʊ /

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  • To be familiar with a person or place, thing
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often

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US / ˈɔfən /

UK / ˈɔfən,ˈɑfən,ˈɔftən,ˈɑf- /

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spending

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US / ˈspendɪŋ /

UK / ˈspɛndɪŋ /

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  • To use money to pay for something
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with

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US / wɪð /

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A1
  • preposition
  • As an employee of a certain company
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before

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UK / bɪˈfɔr,-ˈfor /

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have

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US / həv /

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  • verb
  • To drink, smoke, eat or use something
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popularity

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US / ˌpɒpjuˈlærəti /

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  • noun
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plan

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  • noun
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leads

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US / 'ledz /

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  • other
  • Wires for electricity, computer, etc.; cable
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  • To show the way or guide others
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negative

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US / 'neɡətɪv /

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A2
  • adjecitve
  • Being harmful, unwanted or unhelpful
  • In mathematics, being less than zero
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  • noun
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  • In grammar, containing words such as 'no' or 'not'
  • Reply to a question or statement that means 'no'
  • Image on camera film used to make a photo

see

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US / si: /

UK / si /

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  • verb
  • To go on a date with someone
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actually

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US / ˈæktʃuəli /

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  • adverb
  • Used to add new (often different) information

use

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  • Ability to employ something
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  • To treat a person badly
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clue

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US / klu: /

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  • noun
  • Information that helps explain something; hint

feel

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US / fi:l /

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  • To sense through direct contact; touch

reason

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US / 'ri:zn /

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  • verb
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too

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US / tu: /

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  • adverb
  • In addition, also; with emphasis
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component

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US / kəmˈpəʊnənt /

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  • adjecitve
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gull

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US / ɡʌl /

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  • noun
  • Type of sea bird

once

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US / wʌns /

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  • adverb
  • One time; one instance
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  • conjunction
  • When; as soon as

someone

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US / ˈsʌmwʌn /

UK / ˈsʌmˌwʌn, -wən /

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  • pronoun
  • Person who is not known or named

thereby

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US / ˈðɛəbai /

UK / ðɛrˈbaɪ /

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  • adverb
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true

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certain

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US / ˈsə:tn /

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  • adjecitve
  • Definite, fixed
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sure

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US / ʃʊə(r) /

UK / ʃʊr /

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  • adjecitve
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  • adverb
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point

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US / pɔɪnt /

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A1
  • noun
  • An item to be discussed
  • Small spot or dot
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  • Sharp end of something, e.g. a pen or pin
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  • To face a certain direction, e.g. north
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flirt

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US / flɜ:t /

UK / flɚt /

B2
  • verb
  • To behave playfully to arouse romantic interest

here

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US / hɪə(r) /

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  • adverb
  • In this place; at this location, position or time

stuck

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US / stʌk /

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  • adjecitve
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try

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US / traɪ /

UK / traɪ /

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  • noun
  • Act of putting the ball over the rugby goal line
  • verb
  • To make an effort, to attempt to do something
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already

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US / ɔ:lˈredi /

UK / ɔlˈrɛdi /

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  • adverb
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always

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US / 'ɔ:lweɪz /

UK / ˈɔlwez,-wɪz,-wiz /

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  • adverb
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  • For ever

cook

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US / kʊk /

UK / kʊk /

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  • noun
  • A person who prepares food
  • Person's name
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  • To heat food until it is ready to eat

ourselves

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US / ɑ:ˈselvz /

UK / aʊrˈsɛlvz, ɑr- /

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  • pronoun
  • (Showing speaker is affected by their own action)

relate

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US / rɪ'leɪt /

UK / rɪˈlet /

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  • verb
  • To demonstrate a logical relationship between
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will

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US / wɪl /

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  • noun
  • Desire or choice of someone
  • Document saying who gets your money when you die
  • Strong desire to do something; determination
  • Desire to do something; strong wish to do
  • other
  • Used with verbs to express the future
  • verb
  • To leave property to someone after your death
  • To use mental effort to make something happen
  • Am (is, are) likely to do
  • To influence someone to do something
  • To make something happen by strongly wanting it
  • Introduction to Video Content
  • The Paradox of Attraction
    There is a famous adage that says, if you want something you've never had before, you need to do something you've never done before. This advice is often given to people who find themselves stuck in their personal life, career, or relationships. Do you agree with these sayings? If not, then the paradoxical secret we are about to reveal may surprise you.
    The Sherlock Paradox is a concept that compares our minds to the renowned detective Sherlock Holmes. Like Holmes, our minds are constantly searching for clues and making connections. According to the Sherlock Paradox of attraction, our perceptions of ourselves, which are validated by our experiences and environment, greatly influence how others perceive us.
    A study conducted by Krantz, Friedberg, and Andrew Seven in 2012 found that the impact of physical attractiveness in predicting a person's popularity depended on their self-perception, regardless of their objective attractiveness. In other words, what we believe about ourselves shapes how we interpret our experiences and cues from our surroundings. This phenomenon is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    A self-fulfilling prophecy occurs when a belief leads to its own fulfillment by shaping an individual's behavior in ways that align with the belief. Essentially, if we believe something about ourselves that may not be true, we unconsciously make it come true by thinking and acting as if it is true.
    A prime example of this concept in the context of relationships is contingent self-esteem (CSE). Contingent self-esteem refers to the idea that our self-worth is dependent on external validation, such as the approval and attention of others. If someone has low CSE, they may believe that they are unattractive or unworthy of love. Consequently, they will interpret their interactions and experiences with others in a way that aligns with these beliefs, ultimately reinforcing them.
    So, the paradox of attraction suggests that how we perceive ourselves and the beliefs we hold about our own attractiveness significantly impact how others perceive us. If we want to change how others see us, we first need to change how we see ourselves. By adopting positive self-perceptions and challenging negative beliefs, we can shape our behaviors in ways that attract others and enhance our overall attractiveness.
    In conclusion, the paradox of attraction highlights the intricate connection between our self-perception and how others perceive us. Our beliefs about ourselves can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, influencing our behaviors and shaping how we are perceived by others. Therefore, it is crucial to cultivate positive self-perceptions and challenge limiting beliefs in order to increase our attractiveness and improve our overall relationships and personal fulfillment.
  • Subtitles section
  • There's a famous adage that goes, if you want something you've never had before, you need to do something you've never done before.
  • Similarly, people often offer the advice, nothing changes if nothing changes, to those who find themselves stuck, be it in their personal life, career, or even their relationships.
  • Now, would you agree with these sayings?
  • Because if not, then the paradoxical secret we're about to tell you now is bound to surprise you and make no sense.
  • Defining the Sherlock Paradox.
  • See, the way our minds work is a lot like the great detective Sherlock Holmes, always looking for clues and piecing things together.
  • And the Sherlock Paradox of attraction posits that our perceptions of ourselves, which we confirm with evidence from our experiences and environments, greatly influences how others in turn perceive us to be.
  • In fact, a 2012 study by Krantz, Friedberg, and Andrew Seven found that the effect of physical attractiveness in predicting a person's popularity depended on their self-perceptions, regardless of how objectively attractive they are.
  • So whatever it is we believe about ourselves, we then start to interpret our experiences and other environmental cues in a way that confirms these beliefs.
  • This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy, which researchers Madan, Willard, Gull, and Schur define as a belief that leads to its own fulfillment by shaping an individual's behaviors in expectancy-consistent ways.
  • Simply put, this means that even if we believe something about ourselves that isn't true, we make it come true by thinking and acting as if it already is.
  • A very good example of this and how it relates to our relationship and romantic attractiveness is the idea of contingent self-esteem, or CSE for short.
  • First studied by researchers Ni, Bush, Canvejo, and Cook in 2008, CSE is a core component of our self-perceptions based on external factors such as popularity, romantic success, the approval of others,
  • And how we think we compare to those around us.
  • Like most of our beliefs, CSE is often formed in our childhood.
  • Our early experiences teach us what to think of ourselves based on how other people treat us.
  • If they like us and we have a lot of friends, we might get the idea that we're wanted, attractive, or well-liked.
  • If they reject, criticize, or abandon us, however, then it'll form this belief in us that we're not enough or that something is wrong with us.
  • And once we have this belief about ourselves, be it positive or negative, we then begin to behave in ways that are aligned with these beliefs, only making them stronger over time.
  • Say, for example, you have a negative perception of yourself.
  • Perhaps you think, I'm unattractive.
  • So you start acting like you are and think everyone else thinks it too.
  • You don't make much effort to look good, you don't try to flirt with your crush or let them know you're interested and you always put yourself down, never believing anyone who compliments you.
  • People like this, who are overly self-critical and insecure, then become unattractive to others not because of the way they look, but the way they act.
  • Ways to Apply the Sherlock Paradox Now let's turn it around, shall we?
  • A question I'm sure you're dying to ask, the entire reason why you're even here in the first place.
  • How do we use the Sherlock Paradox to make ourselves more attractive?
  • Well, it's simple, really.
  • The principle is much like that of a Chinese finger trap.
  • The more you try to get something, the harder it seems to be.
  • So you have to do something paradoxical instead.
  • The opposite of what you want to achieve.
  • But how on earth is that supposed to work, you're wondering?
  • Keep in mind these two things, reactance and reverse psychology.
  • Recall a time when someone tried to push you to do something or act a certain way.
  • Didn't their pressure only make you want to do the opposite?
  • That's called reactance, and it happens in romantic attraction too.
  • The main reason why reverse psychology works is that when people feel pressured to act a certain way, they often prefer to do the opposite in order to assert their autonomy.
  • This is based on Brehm's 1989 reactance theory.
  • So to answer your question, there are two paradoxical ways to attract your crush.
  • First is to act in a way that's the opposite of what you want.
  • And second is to make yourself more attracted simply by believing it.
  • Some concrete examples include giving them space when you want to get closer to them.
  • Showing them that you're okay with spending less time together.
  • Showing a willingness to be less physically close or intimate when you actually want to be more physically affectionate.
  • Making less of an effort to woo them and get their attention, thereby making yourself seem more secure and sure of yourself.
  • And most important of all, planting a belief that you are attractive and that your crush would be lucky to have you.
  • Then look for signs that point to yes, and act accordingly to strengthen this belief and make it come true.
  • So what are some ways you plan to start applying this paradoxical secret to attracting your crush?
  • Remember, nothing in life is possible if we don't first think it possible.
  • Confidence is key to attractiveness, and a strong sense of self-confidence starts with a simple belief.